I'll Show Myself Out: Essays on Midlife and Motherhood Jessi Klein

The eagerly anticipated second essay collection from Jessi Klein, author of the acclaimed New York Times bestselling debut You'll Grow Out of It"Klein isn’t here to make motherhood look pretty, but she ends up making it look pretty great in the truest sense of the word, mixing laughs with poignancy and treating heavy topics with a brightening kind of honesty." - Anne Bostrom, Booklist"Sometimes I think about how much bad news there is to tell my kid, the endlessly long, looping CVS receipt scroll of truly terrible things that have happened, and I want to get under the bed and never come out. How do we tell them about all this? Can we just play Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire and then brace for questions? The first of which should be, how is this a song that played on the radio?"In bestselling author and Emmy Award-winning writer and producer Jessi Klein's second collection, she hilariously explodes the cultural myths and impossible expectations around motherhood and explore the humiliations, poignancies, and possibilities of midlife.In interconnected essays like Listening to Beyonce in the Parking Lot of Party City, Your Husband Will Remarry Five Minutes After You Die, Eulogy for My Feet, and An Open Love Letter to Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent, Jessi Klein explores this stage of life in all its cruel ironies, joyous moments, and bittersweetness."It takes a certain kind of mind to get this much out of a box of Nom-Noms, and Klein's comedic talent often involves an element of quasi-philosophical unspooling of mundane challenges and passages, often with a certain amount of profanity and all-caps exclamations... The author clearly believes in family, love, laughter, and a well-placed Xanax — and she's pretty convincing." - Kirkus ReviewsWritten with Klein's signature candour and humanity, I'll Show Myself Out is an incis The eagerly anticipated second essay collection from Jessi Klein, author of the acclaimed New York Times bestselling debut You'll Grow Out of It. "Sometimes I think about how much bad news there is to tell my kid, the endlessly long, looping CVS receipt scroll of truly terrible things that have happened, and I want to get under the bed and never come out. How do we tell them about all this? Can we just play Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire and then brace for questions? The first of which should be, how is this a song that played on the radio?" In New York Times bestselling author and Emmy Award-winning writer and producer Jessi Klein's second collection, she hilariously explodes the cultural myths and impossible expectations around motherhood and explore the humiliations, poignancies, and possibilities of midlife. In interconnected essays like "Listening to Beyonc in the Parking Lot of Party City," "Your Husband Will Remarry Five Minutes After You Die," "Eulogy for My Feet," and "An Open Love Letter to Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent," Klein explores this stage of life in all its cruel ironies, joyous moments, and bittersweetness. Written with Klein's signature candor and humanity, I'll Show Myself Out is an incisive, moving, and often uproarious collection. Cover Title Page Dedication Contents The Hero’s Journey The Butterfly On the Starbucks Bathroom Floor Mom Clothes The Car Seat An Open Love Letter to Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent Underwear Sandwich My Future Lesbian Wife Listening to Beyoncé in the Parking Lot of Party City Somewhere over the Rainbow Your Husband Will Remarry Five Minutes After You Die Talismans Bread and Cheese Change of Hands Hair Teddy Ruxpin Bad News In Defense of Drinking Eulogy for My Feet Demon Halloween Little Books The Return Acknowledgments About the Author Also by Jessi Klein Copyright About the Publisher Copyright Title Page Dedication Contents Chapter 1: ‘I’m thinking’ – Oh, but are you? Chapter 2: Renegade perception Chapter 3: The Pushbacker sting Chapter 4: ‘Covid’: The calculated catastrophe Chapter 5: There is no ‘virus’ Chapter 6: Sequence of deceit Chapter 7: War on your mind Chapter 8: ‘Reframing’ insanity Chapter 9: We must have it? So what is it? Chapter 10: Human 2.0 Chapter 11: Who controls the Cult? Chapter 12: Escaping Wetiko Postscript Appendix: Cowan-Kaufman-Morell Statement on Virus Isolation Bibliography Index In Emmy Award-winning writer and producer Jessi Klein's second collection, she hilariously explodes the cultural myths and impossible expectations around motherhood and explores the humiliations, poignancies, and possibilities of midlife. Klein explores this stage of life in all its cruel ironies, joyous moments, and bittersweetness