I love you, and I'm leaving you anyway: [a memoir]

Television writer Tracy McMillan’s comic literary road trip into the heart and soul of her relationship with her father—a convicted pimp, drug dealer, and felon—and what it has meant for her relationships with men. Like a cross between The Glass Castle and Hypocrite in a Poufy White Dress , I Love You and I’m Leaving You Anyway is funny, inspiring, and truly unique.

I love You

Television writer Tracy McMillan managed to work her way into a killer Hollywood career—a privileged world of pool houses, premieres, and big-time producer deals—despite being the daughter of a fur-coat-wearing, El Dorado–driving, smooth-talking pimp named Freddie. But success couldn't save her from the pattern of self-destructive choices—stemming from her history with her father—that would shape all of her romantic relationships. I Love You and I'm Leaving You Anyway is her comic, tragic, and ultimately victorious story, the riveting true tale of how having a father obsessed with women made her a woman obsessed with men.

And I'm Leaving You

Blessed with beauty and brains, Tracy had no problem attracting men. Marrying her first husband (a kind, stable MBA) before she was out of her teens, she quickly discovered the romantic contradiction that so many women face: the "right" kind of men feel wrong. And the wrong ones feel so, so right. Alternating between the nice guys she knew she should want, and the unavailable men who were compelling, Tracy found herself repeating the hurt that began when the man who loved her the most, her father, left her for prison when she was just three years old. Freddie's absence meant a childhood filled with foster homes, a temperamental stepmother, and near constant upheaval. It took three marriages, the birth of a son, and, most important, resolving her relationship with her dad for Tracy to discover the truth about herself—a truth that finally set her free.

Anyway

This provocative, insightful, and humorous memoir isn't a "woe is me" story of what went wrong. I Love You and I'm Leaving You Anyway is a story of what's gone right—one woman's journey to creating a fulfilling life and raising a son who taught her everything she needed to know about men, love, and, of course, herself. Heartwarming, funny, and unflinchingly real, it is an inspiring testament to the power of change that proves we can all grow from even our most flawed relationships.

Publishers Weekly

McMillan acknowledges conventional wisdom in this oddly paced memoir: "any chick old enough to have acquired a Diet Coke habit has heard that your relationships with men will be based - one way or another - on the one you had with your father." The film and TV writer (The United States of Tara) believes that her failed marriages are a reflection of the connections, however imperfect, she has tried to forge with her father, a pimp, drug dealer, and convicted felon incarcerated most of her life. McMillan's relationship attempts dominate the discussion: there's Scott, her first boyfriend in high school, who already has a girlfriend. There's her third ex-husband, Paul, a Harvard grad from an affluent family, and "a lot like my dad. They both loved me and left me anyway. Then, once they were gone, they refused to let me go." Only when McMillan manages to accept her father for who he is does she get beyond her past and look to the future. But by the time she realizes that her young son, about whom she talks not nearly enough, is the true love of her life, the story comes to an abrupt end.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

"Television writer Tracy McMillan managed to work her way into a killer Hollywood career--privileged world of pool houses, premieres, and big-time producer deals--despite being the daughter of a fur-coat-wearing, El Dorado-driving, smooth-talking pimp named Freddie. But success couldn't save her from the pattern of self-destructive choices--stemming from her history with her father--that would shape all of her romantic relationships. This is her comic, tragic, and ultimately victorious story, the riveting true tale of how having a father obsessed with women made her a woman obsessed with men."