صدای شما را می‌شنوم: تعمیر شکست‌های ارتباطی، مذاکره موفق و ایجاد توافق... در سه مرحله ساده

When it's time to ask your boss for a promotion or a raise, the conventional wisdom is to role play the conversation with a friend standing in for your boss to give you a chance to script what you want to say. Donny Ebenstein has some unconventional wisdom: switch places, put yourself in your boss' shoes. This approach to communication, understanding the point of view of the person you're talking to, is the cornerstone of Donny's new book I Hear You, published by AMACOM, where communication isn't just about hearing but also about understanding. AMA is a world-class leadership development provider in more than 40 countries worldwide. Our training is internationally recognized by 9 professional associations and the majority of the Fortune 500 companies. Cover; Title Page; Copyright Page; Table of Contents; Acknowledgments; Note to Readers; Introduction: From Conflict to Consensus; Becoming your Own Coach; Chapter 1. Change Yourself: Going from Stuck to Unstuck; Defining Stuck Situations; Fixing it Begins with You; Why Being Different Makes All the Difference; What about Extreme People?; Change what you Say; Change how you Say It; Beyond the Conversation; Summary; Chapter 2. Shifting Perspective; Changing your Thinking; Different Perspectives can Coexist; Flexing your Mind; Now I See it Differently; What's the Magic Word? Shifting Perspective and Writing your Own Magic WordsSummary; Chapter 3. Overcome your Own Defenses: Tearing Down the Walls; Perspective is Practically Invisible; Freeing Yourself from Perspective Ignorance; Active Resistance; Summary; Chapter 4. Their Story: Looking Through their Eyes; Difference of Opinion; The Role of Culture; Identifying Noncultural Differences; Different and Legitimate; Mind the Gap; Practice Telling their Story; Guide to the Perplexed: Finding their Story; Having the Conversation; Seeing isn't (Necessarily) Believing; Summary. Chapter 5. Looking from the Outside In: Seeing is BelievingWhat do I Sound Like from the Outside?; Simple, but not Easy; Dealing with Denial; It's Not you, It's Me; Learning about Myself-Going Deep; Looking in the Mirror; Practicing how to Look from the Outside In; Having the Conversation; Walking Down the Road; Summary; Chapter 6. Don't Take it Personally: Understanding it's not about You; Systemic Conflict is Role-Based; Competing Incentives; The Benefits of Competing Incentives; Hierarchy; Working for a Superhero; Personalities Within the System; Who Cares?; Why it's Hard. Identifying your Systemic ConflictHaving the Conversation; Summary; Chapter 7. Don't Lose Yourself: Maintaining Balance; The Problem; How can you Tell?; Advice; Having the Conversation; Summary; Chapter 8. Practice, Practice, Practice: Getting to Carnegie Hall; What is Role-Playing?; Role-Playing to Diagnose the Problem; Role-Playing to Look from the Outside In; Role-Playing to Tell Their Story; Role-Playing to Practice; Creating your Own Role Play; Step One: Find a Partner; Step Two: Set the Stage; Step Three: Have the Conversation; Step Four: Stop and Debrief; Step Five: Try Again; Summary. Chapter 9. What Comes Next: Making Change Happen and Identifying Dead EndsPossibility 1: The Situation Gets Better and the Relationship Improves; Possibility 2: Making Peace with the Status Quo; Possibility 3: Walking Away; Have you Really Tried?; Time to Act; Managing Risk; A Question of Values; Keeping the Door Open; Summary; Conclusion; Notes; Index. If you’ve ever tried negotiating through an unresolved conflict with a boss, colleague, employee, or client, then you know that it’s easier to sell ice to an Eskimo. Whether big or small, conflict eats into productivity and thickens further even the most stubborn of people. In short, conflict makes people feel stuck.Yet the key to conflict resolution is not as complicated as most think. The answer lies in better communication. No, not you learning more persuasive ways to make your point, but rather simply learning to actively listen to the other perspectives. In I Hear You, readers backed up against a wall built by conflict will learn proven techniques for stepping outside one’s point of view and seeing things from other perspectives. They’ll learn how to:• Tell the other person’s story--the cornerstone of real engagement• Look from the outside in and see themselves as others do• Recognize the role systemic factors play--and transform a conflict into a shared challenge• Overcome the defense mechanisms that derail dialogueComplete with sample dialogues that show how this shift in thinking leads to better conversations and greatly improved outcomes, this invaluable resource is the secret to changing opposition into understanding and mere talk into real trust. If you feel backed up against a wall built by conflict, this book will teach you proven techniques for stepping outside one's point of view and seeing things from other perspectives. If you've ever tried negotiating through an unresolved conflict with a boss, colleague, employee, or client, then you know that it's easier to sell ice to an Eskimo. Whether big or small, conflict eats into productivity and thickens further even the most stubborn of people. In short, conflict makes people feel stuck. The answer lies in better communication. No, not you learning more persuasive ways to make your point, but rather simply learning to actively listen to the other perspectives. In I Hear You, you will learn how to: Tell the other person's story—the cornerstone of real engagement Look from the outside in and see themselves as others do Recognize the role systemic factors play—and transform a conflict into a shared challenge Overcome the defense mechanisms that derail dialogue Complete with sample dialogues that show how this shift in thinking leads to better conversations and greatly improved outcomes, I Hear You is the secret to changing opposition into understanding and mere talk into real trust. Birth, death, and conflict-three things you truly can't avoid. Whether it's big or small, conflict eats into productivity and makes people feel stuck. Yet solutions exist for even the toughest situations with the most intractable people. The answer lies in better communication-not just using different words, but rather learning to think differently. "I Hear You" supplies proven techniques for stepping outside one's point of view and seeing things from other perspectives. Sample dialogues show how this shift in thinking leads to better conversations and greatly improved outcomes. Readers learn how to: tell the other person's story-the cornerstone of real engagement; look from the outside in and see themselves as others do; recognize the role systemic factors play - and transform a conflict into a shared challenge; and overcome the defense mechanisms that derail dialogue. For anyone trying to negotiate a difficult situation with a boss, colleague, employee, or client, "I Hear You" changes opposition into understanding and mere talk into real trust