I Belong Here: A Journey Along the Backbone of Britain: WINNER OF THE 2021 BOOKS ARE MY BAG READERS AWARD FOR NON-FICTION

One woman's journey of reclamation through natural landscapes as she contemplates identity and womanhood, nature, place and belonging. Anita Sethi was on a journey through Northern England in Summer 2019 when she became the victim of a racially motivated hate crime. The crime was a vicious attack on her right to exist in a place on account of her race. After the event Anita experienced panic attacks and anxiety. A crushing sense of claustrophobia made her long for wide open spaces, to breathe deeply in the great outdoors. She was intent on not letting her experience stop her from traveling freely and without fear. Between the route from Liverpool to Newcastle lays the Pennines, known as "the backbone of Britain." That "backbone" runs through the north and also strongly connects north with south, east with west--it's a place of borderlands and limestone, of rivers and "scars," of fells and forces. The Pennines called to Anita with a magnetic force; although a racist had told her to leave, she felt drawn to further explore the area she regards as her home, to immerse herself deeply in place. Anita's journey through the natural landscapes of the North is one of reclamation, a way of saying that this is her land too and she belongs in the UK as a brown woman, as much as a white man does. We're living in an era of increased hostility in which more people of color around the world are being told to "go back"; strong statements of belonging are needed more than ever. Anita's journey gives her the perspective to reflect upon the important issues encompassed in her experience of abuse including speaking out, gaslighting, trauma, kindness, and notions of strength. Her journey transforms what began as an ugly experience of hate into one offering hope and finding beauty after brutality. Anita transforms her personal experience into one of universal resonance, offering a call to action, to keep walking onwards, forging a path through and beyond pain. Every footstep taken is an act of persistence. Every word written against the rising tide of hate speech, such as this book, is an act of resistance. Anita Sethi was on a journey through Northern England in Summer 2019 when she became the victim of a race hate crime. The crime was a vicious attack on her right to exist in a place on account of her race. After the event Anita experienced panic attacks and anxiety. A crushing sense of claustrophobia made her long for wide open spaces, to breathe deeply in the great outdoors. She was intent on not letting her experience stop her travelling freely and without fear. She was eager to continue journeying alone as a woman, asserting her right to exist. One day Anita was looking at a map of the country and reflecting on that traumatic TransPennine journey. Between the route from Liverpool to Newcastle lays the Pennines, known as 'the backbone of Britain', including nature reserves, Areas of Outstanding Natural Beauty and Britain's oldest long-distance footpath. That 'backbone' or 'spine' of Britain runs through the north and also strongly connects north with south, east with west - it's a place of borderlands and limestone, of rivers and gorges and 'scars', of fells and forces. The Pennines called to Anita with a magnetic force; although a racist had told her to leave, she felt drawn to further explore the area she regards as her home, to immerse herself deeply in place. Anita's journey through the natural landscapes of the North is one of reclamation, a way of saying that this is her land too and she belongs in the UK as a brown woman, as much as a white man does. Journeying through the Pennines, the 'backbone' of Britain, is a way of showing backbone and that she will not let having been the victim of a hate crime curtail her movements through the world. We're living in an era of increased hostility in which more people of colour around the world are being told to 'go back'; strong statements of belonging are needed more than ever Title Page Copyright Page Contents Prologue: A Place Called Hope MOUTH Onwards: A TransPennine Express Journey Chapter 1: Speaking Up Chapter 2: Bearing Witness SKIN Wanted: A Long Green Trail Chapter 3: If Your Nerve Deny You, Go Above Your Nerve Chapter 4: You Make Your Own Path as You Walk Chapter 5: Walking as a Woman of Colour Walking Through Wilderness as a Woman of Colour Chapter 6: On Race and Place On being a brown-skinned Brit A brief history of ‘banana boats’ Route-mapping and root-mapping: A potted history of the word ‘paki’ Reclaiming ‘cunt’ – Walking through Wilderness as a Woman of Colour BACKBONE Malham Cove and Limestone Country Chapter 7: Protected Characteristics Chapter 8: On Strength, Courage and Trauma The fault-lines Chapter 9: Going Viral LIFEBLOOD Upwards: A Pennine Journey Chapter 10: Settlements Chapter 11: Scars FEET The Way: North Pennines to Hadrian’s Wall (via Manchester) Chapter 12: Northern Nature Chapter 13: Areas of Outstanding Natural Beauty Chapter 14: Forces Chapter 15: Walking and Witnessing Epilogue: Up From a Past that’s Rooted in Pain Resources Anxiety helplines Organisations a part of CATCH (Community Alliance to Combat Hate) Acknowledgements Thank you to... Bibliography Notes Index The author was on a journey through Northern England in Summer 2019 when she became the victim of a race hate crime. The crime was a vicious attack on her right to exist in a place on account of her race. After the event Anita experienced panic attacks and anxiety. She was intent on not letting her experience stop her travelling freely and without fear, and she was eager to continue journeying alone as a woman, asserting her right to exist. The Pennines called to Anita with a magnetic force and her journey through the natural landscapes of the North is one of reclamation, a way of saying that this is her land too and she belongs in the UK as a brown woman