How to Win Any Argument, Revised Edition: Without Raising Your Voice, Losing Your Cool, or Coming to Blows

The art of the argument. It's mysterious and powerful. It's the art of having things go your way. But it's also the art of getting out of your own way. It's having the Moves. But it's also about having the Touch. Welcome to the "new normal." It's a time and place where conversations are tougher, disagreements more frequent, consensus more difficult to find than ever before. This new world demands three new "right for our times" chapters: "Heavy Metal Moves" and "Taboo Tactics": When you're being dissed, dismissed, and dumped on. Or when you need to break through. "Waging Peace: The Mediation, Arbitration, and Collaborative Practice Game": Because there's more conflict but less money to hire litigation lawyers. "The World Has Gotten Smaller": Learn to identify deep-rooted cultural differences, and how to act and react. Are you the parent of an argumentative teen or a teen with an argumentative parent? Are you anticipating an argument with your boss when you ask for a raise? Are you expecting trouble from a supplier, contractor, landlord, or subordinate? Or do you just ignore conflict situations hoping that they'll magically disappear or solve themselves?The art of argument. It's mysterious and powerful. It's the art of having things go your way. But also it's the art of getting out of your own way. It's having "The Moves". But it's also about having "The Touch". Arguing. There's the rough and tumble of the norm, the amateur's game. Then there's the pro's game, always knowing what to say, how to say it, and when to say it.Winning arguments without quarreling, squabbling, tussling, wrangling, bickering, raising your voice, losing your cool, or coming to blows. Winning arguments without bulldozing and browbeating the other guy. Winning arguments by finessing rather than forcing, kickin' butt or being in the other guy's face. Winning arguments without offending or embarrassing anyone, including yourself. Winning arguments with confidence, grace and ease.The New York Times described Bob Mayer's winning methodology as martial. It's mental judo. Where you use the other guy's energy to win. It's mind-set. It's charisma non-threatening approach that in many ways builds on the principles laid out long ago in Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People.So find yourself a comfortable chair. Pour yourself a cup of coffee. Sit back, relax. By the way, don't go looking for charts, graphs, or boring stats. You won't find any psychobabble here. Mayer drives home his eye-opening lessons in a light, humorous, page-turning read filled with personal and celebrity anecdotes and riveting tidbits. This guide to negotiating is “mental judo, where you use the other guy's energy to win. It's mind-set. It's charisma” (New York Times).The art of the argument. It's mysterious and powerful. It's the art of having things go your way. But it's also the art of getting out of your own way. It's having the Moves. But it's also about having the Touch. Welcome to the “new normal.” It's a time and place where conversations are tougher, disagreements more frequent, consensus more difficult to find than ever before. This new world demands three new “right for our times” chapters:“Heavy Metal Moves” and “Taboo Tactics”: When you're being dissed, dismissed, and dumped on. Or when you need to break through.“Waging Peace: The Mediation, Arbitration, and Collaborative Practice Game”: Because there's more conflict but less money to hire litigation lawyers.“The World Has Gotten Smaller”: Learn to identify deep-rooted cultural differences, and how to act and react.“This will be one of the most important books you've read in a long time.” —Larry King“Two thumbs up! A whole new way of being smart about all the people in your life—coworkers, bosses, family, the people you do business with. Bob Mayer tells you how to finesse the results you want without pleading, prodding, pushing, or pulling.” —Cuba Gooding, Jr., Academy Award–winning actor Introduction -- Gain absolute and total self-control -- Construct a consent zone -- Link inside the consent zone -- Lead inside the consent zone -- Create a bulletproof argument -- Know what to say, when to say it, and what not to say -- Assemble an arsenal of magic words and phrases -- Craft surgical strike questions -- Cinch consent -- Throw a "Hail Mary"--Finesse consent from family and friends -- Win the war of words in writing -- Win the war of words on the telephone -- Win the war of words with an audience -- Win the war of words at a meeting -- Heavy metal moves -- Mediation, arbitration, and collaborative dispute resolution -- Cross-cultural persuasion -- Epilogue