How to use power phrases to say what you mean, mean what you say, and get what you want

Easy-to-master techniques for more effective communications in all areas of life In this breakthrough guide, communication guru Meryl Runion explains why effective communication is more than just a business tool. It is also the key to happier, healthier relationships, and greater personal fulfillment and business success. In How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, & Get What You Want she introduces readers to the concept of power phrases—short, focused expressions that let people be direct and to the point without seeming brusque or nasty. In clear, down-to-earth language, illustrated with numerous vignettes and real-world examples, Runion teaches readers how to: Say what needs to be said without fear of misinterpretation or creating negative emotional responses Master six basic methods for crafting power phrases for any setting and every social, professional, or interpersonal situation Terms of Use......Page 3 Want to learn more?......Page 4 Contents......Page 5 Acknowledgments......Page 8 Part 1 Why PowerPhrases? An Idea Whose Time Has Come......Page 9 1 Power Up, Stand Up, SpeakTall......Page 11 Silence Isn’t Golden When They Need to Know the Truth......Page 14 Silence Isn’t Golden When People Need to Be Kept in the Loop......Page 16 The Other Side of Speaking Tall with PowerPhrases......Page 17 Your Balance of Power......Page 19 2 PowerPhrases 101 The ABCs of PowerPhrases......Page 20 PowerPhrases Are Short......Page 21 PowerPhrases Are Targeted......Page 22 PowerPhrases Mean What You Say......Page 23 PowerPhrases Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 24 3 Poison Phrases Respect-Robbing Words That Weaken, Vicious Venom Phrases That Maim......Page 25 Respect-Robbing Poison Phrases That Weaken by Playing Small......Page 26 Vicious Venom Poison Phrases That Overpower and Maim......Page 35 Let’s Stamp Out Poison Phrases......Page 42 4 Do You Suffer from “PowerPhrase Deficiency”? Take the PowerPhrase Quiz and Find Out......Page 43 Check Your Score!......Page 47 Part 2 The Six Secrets of PowerPhrases......Page 49 5 Secret #1: It’s What You Don’t Say A PowerPhrase Is Short......Page 51 6 Secret #2: It’s in the Details A PowerPhrase Is Specific......Page 56 7 Secret #3: Pick Winning Words That Work PowerPhrases Are Targeted......Page 63 8 Secret #4: The Power of the Simple Truth PowerPhrases Say What You Mean......Page 69 9 Secret #5: Protect the Integrity of Your Words PowerPhrases Mean What You Say......Page 74 10 Secret #6: There Is Power in Nice Don’t Be Mean When You Say It......Page 78 11 A Personal Note about PowerPhrases......Page 83 Part 3 PowerPhrases in Action......Page 87 12 It Seems Like I’ve Known You Forever! PowerPhrases to Perfect the Connection......Page 89 PowerPhrases to Perfect the Connection Are Short......Page 90 PowerPhrases to Perfect the Connection Are Specific......Page 92 PowerPhrases to Perfect the Connection Are Targeted......Page 93 PowerPhrases to Perfect the Connection Say What You Mean......Page 95 PowerPhrases to Perfect the Connection Mean What You Say......Page 96 PowerPhrases to Perfect the Connection Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 97 13 Make Your Opinion Matter PowerPhrases to Say What You Think......Page 98 PowerPhrases to Say What You Think Are Short......Page 99 PowerPhrases to Say What You Think Are Specific......Page 100 PowerPhrases to Say What You Think Are Targeted......Page 102 PowerPhrases to Express Opinions Say What You Mean......Page 103 PowerPhrases to Say What You Think Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 105 14 The Secret Power of Communicating Feelings PowerPhrases to Say What You Feel......Page 107 PowerPhrases to Say What You Feel Are Short......Page 108 PowerPhrases to Say What You Feel Are Specific......Page 109 PowerPhrases to Say What You Feel Are Targeted......Page 110 PowerPhrases to Express What You Feel Say What You Mean......Page 112 PowerPhrases to Say What You Feel Mean What You Say......Page 113 PowerPhrases to Say What You Feel Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 114 15 Ask So You Will Receive PowerPhrases to Make Powerful Requests......Page 115 PowerPhrases to Make Requests Are Short......Page 116 PowerPhrases to Make Requests Are Specific......Page 117 PowerPhrases to Make Requests Are Targeted......Page 118 PowerPhrases to Make Requests Say What You Mean......Page 119 PowerPhrases Requests Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 121 16 The Power of Saying NO! PowerPhrases to Refuse What You Don’t Want......Page 124 PowerPhrases to Say “No” Are Short......Page 125 PowerPhrases to Say “No” Are Specific......Page 126 PowerPhrases to Say “No” Are Targeted......Page 127 PowerPhrases to Say “No”; Say What You Mean......Page 128 PowerPhrases to Say “No”; Mean What You Say......Page 129 PowerPhrases to Say “No” Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 130 17 Listen So They Speak Freely PowerPhrases to Get Them to Open Up......Page 132 PowerPhrases for Listening Are Short......Page 133 PowerPhrases for Listening Are Targeted......Page 134 PowerPhrase for Listening Say What You Mean......Page 137 PowerPhrases for Listening Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 138 18 When You Really Blew It PowerPhrases to Apologize Sincerely without Groveling......Page 140 PowerPhrases to Apologize Sincerely without Groveling Are Specific......Page 141 PowerPhrases to Apologize Sincerely without Groveling Are Targeted......Page 142 PowerPhrases to Apologize Sincerely without Groveling Say What You Mean......Page 143 PowerPhrases to Apologize Sincerely without Groveling Mean What You Say......Page 144 PowerPhrases to Apologize Sincerely without Groveling Are Not Being Mean When You Apologize......Page 145 19 To Get Good Answers You Need Good Questions Asking Questions with PowerPhrases......Page 146 PowerPhrase Questions Are Short......Page 147 PowerPhrase Questions Are Specific......Page 148 PowerPhrase Questions Are Targeted......Page 149 PowerPhrase Questions Say What You Mean......Page 153 PowerPhrase Questions Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 154 20 You Don’t Have to Put Up with Put-Downs PowerPhrase Responses to Unkind Criticism......Page 156 PowerPhrase Responses to Put-Downs Are Short......Page 158 PowerPhrase Responses to Unkind Criticism Are Targeted......Page 159 PowerPhrase Responses to Unkind Criticism Say What You Mean......Page 160 PowerPhrase Responses to Put-Downs Mean What You Say......Page 161 PowerPhrase Responses to Put-Downs Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 162 21 Don’t Resist Anger, Defuse It PowerPhrases to Handle the Angry Person......Page 164 PowerPhrases to Handle the Angry Person Are Specific......Page 166 PowerPhrases to Handle an Angry Person Are Targeted......Page 167 PowerPhrases to Handle the Angry Person Say What You Mean......Page 168 PowerPhrases to Handle the Angry Person Mean What You Say......Page 169 PowerPhrases to Handle the Angry Person Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 170 22 Use Anger as a Tool, Not as a Weapon PowerPhrases to Express Anger......Page 172 PowerPhrases to Express Anger Are Short......Page 174 PowerPhrases to Express Anger Are Specific......Page 175 PowerPhrases to Express Anger Are Targeted......Page 176 PowerPhrases to Express Anger Say What You Mean......Page 177 PowerPhrases to Express Anger Mean What You Say......Page 179 PowerPhrases to Express Anger Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 181 23 How to Disagree without Being Disagreeable PowerPhrases to Handle Disagreements......Page 183 PowerPhrases to Handle Disagreements Are Short......Page 184 PowerPhrases to Handle Disagreements Are Specific......Page 185 PowerPhrases to Handle Disagreements Are Targeted......Page 186 PowerPhrases to Handle Disagreements Say What You Mean......Page 189 PowerPhrases to Handle Disagreements Mean What You Say......Page 190 PowerPhrases to Handle Disagreements Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 191 24 Homicide Is Not an Option Use PowerPhrases to Address Issues......Page 193 PowerPhrases to Address Issues Are Specific......Page 196 PowerPhrases to Address Issues Are Targeted......Page 198 PowerPhrases to Address Issues Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 199 25 What He Says Is Not What She Hears and What She Says Is Not What He Hears PowerPhrases between the Genders......Page 201 PowerPhrases between the Genders Are Short......Page 203 PowerPhrases between the Genders Are Specific......Page 204 PowerPhrases between the Genders Are Targeted......Page 206 PowerPhrases between the Genders Say What You Mean......Page 207 PowerPhrases between the Genders Mean What You Say......Page 209 PowerPhrases between the Genders Are Not Mean When You Say Them......Page 210 Part 4 Put Your Best Self Forward with PowerPhrases......Page 213 Tip #1: It’s Not What You Say—It’s How You Say It......Page 215 Tip #2: Sometimes Silence Is Golden......Page 216 Tip #3: Don’t Expect the World to Communicate in PowerPhrases......Page 217 Tip #4: In Some Situations No PowerPhrase Will Help......Page 218 Tip #5: Learn and Practice the Runion Rules for Communication......Page 219 Tip #6: “A PowerPhrase a Week” Newsletter Is Your Secret Weapon......Page 221 Question #1: How to Be a New Manager without Being Considered an “Occupying Power”......Page 222 Question #2: Keep It Down to a Dull Roar......Page 224 Question #3: Her Right to Smell Good vs. My Right to Breathe......Page 225 PowerPhrases to Get the Boss to See the Good......Page 227 PowerPhrases to Gain Respect......Page 228 A PowerPhrase to Balance the Workload......Page 229 29 Your PowerPhrases Final Exam......Page 232 Answers to Exam......Page 236 A Final Personal Note......Page 247 Index......Page 249 About the Author......Page 257 This guide introduces the secrets to upgrading the way you communicate with the people in your life at work and home. These secrets are: less really is more; it's in the details; pick words that work; the power of the simple truth; protect the integrity of your words; and consider your listener