How to Survive a Horror Movie : All the Skills to Dodge the Kills

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid. From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, __How to Survive a Horror Movie__ shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover: • How to Perform an Exorcism • What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer • How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff • How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll • How to Survive an Alien Invasion • How to Tell If You’ve Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie and much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, __How to Survive a Horror Movie__ is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp. Written by the screenwriter and producer behind Stephen King's It, and with an introduction by horror icon Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street), this is a hilarious must-read for any horror movie fan—and it just might save your life Are you reading this in a cornfield, at a summer camp, or in an abandoned mental institution? Have you noticed that everything is poorly lit, or that music surges every time you open a door? If the answer is yes, you're probably trapped in a horror movie. But don't freak out—just read this book! With it you will learn how to overcome every obstacle found in scary films, including: • How to determine what type of horror film you're trapped in • The five types of slashers and how to defeat them • How to handle killer dolls, murderous automobiles, and other haunted objects • How to deal with alien invasions, zombie apocalypses, and other global threats • What to do if you did something last summer, if your corn has children in it, or if you suspect you're already dead So don't be afraid: no vampire, zombie horde, cannibal hillbilly, Japanese vengeance ghost, or other horror movie monster can hurt you—as long as you have this book. Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.
 
From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover:
 
     •  How to Perform an Exorcism
     •  What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer
     •  How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff
     •  How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll
     •  How to Survive an Alien Invasion
     •  How to Tell If You’ve Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie
 
and much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp. An illustrated guide to surviving various kinds of horror movie obstacle, from axe-wielding psychopaths to haunted Japanese VHS tapes. It provides information of horror movies with ghosts, serial killers, haunted cars, killer pets, and others. It shows you how to survive a horror movie. Teaches readers how to cope with every kind of horror movie obstacle, from ax-wielding psychopaths to haunted Japanese VHS tapes