How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less / by Nicholas Boothman

Amazon.com Review The average person's attention span lasts about 30 seconds. That means first and immediate impressions count, and big. In this modern-day update of Dale Carnegie's classic __, former fashion photographer Nicholas Boothman instructs you in how to mold those 30 seconds to your greatest advantage and connect with others at business and social functions. Boothman, now a lecturer and licensed master practitioner of neurolinguistic programming (the art and science of how the brain affects human connections), says that the key to making others like you quickly lies in establishing a rapport: you have to find out what you have in common or, if you seemingly have nothing in common, purposely try to become like the other person for a short time. He then goes on to offer simple techniques for getting a rapport going: adopt a positive attitude; make sure your words, tone, and gestures are all saying the same thing; synchronize your attitude and body movements to those of another person's (which makes the person feel comfortable with you--although he or she may not know why); and ask lots of open-ended questions. Boothman also describes how to figure out a stranger's favored sense for receiving information about the world--some rely on visual cues, others on auditory or kinesthetic (touch) input--and use it to your best advantage. If discovering how to connect with others is the secret to business and life success, as Boothman contends, then employing the strategies in this book will make you instantly likeable and give you a leg up on the competition. --Nancy Monson From Publishers Weekly Blessed with an irresistible premise and title, this well-packaged self-help book draws its advice from neuro-linguistic programming and a study of interpersonal communication conducted by two UCLA doctors. While its clearly presented techniques may help readers clear communications hurdles in social and professional interactions, this upbeat volume will probably appeal most to readers interested in dating and nurturing romantic attachments. A former fashion photographer who gives "Positive Connection" seminars, Boothman breaks down the process of connecting with people into discrete stepsAmeeting, establishing rapport and opening up communicationAand provides simple examples, self-assessments, exercises and sample dialogue. He contends that a key to establishing rapport lies in synchronizing behavior or mimicking the other person's pose, facial expression, gestures, body language and tone of voice. According to the principles of neuro-linguistic programming, Boothman recommends categorizing people according to how they take in information (e.g., visually, aurally or by feel) and responding in kind. Though the book reads like an adapted seminar or puffed-up magazine article, Workman's ambitious promotional campaign and usual canny marketing may well make this little book one of the season's most popular impulse purchases. 20-city author tour. Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. Whether selling, managing, negotiating, planning, collaborating, pitching, instructing-or on your knees with a marriage proposal-the secret of success is based on connecting with other people. Now that connection is infinitely easier to make through Nicholas Boothman's program of rapport by design. How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less is the work of a master of Neuro-Linguistic Programming whose career is teaching corporations and groups the secrets of successful face-to-face communication. Aimed at establishing rapport-that stage between meeting and communicating- How to Make People Like You focuses on the concept of synchrony. It shows how to synchronize attitude, synchronize body language, and synchronize voice tone so that you instantly and imperceptibly become someone the other person likes. Reinforcing these easy-to-learn skills is knowing how to read the other person's sensory preferences-most of us are visual, some are kinesthetic, and a minority are auditory. So when you say "I see what you mean" to a visual person, you're really speaking his language. Along the way the book covers attitude, nervousness, words that open a conversation and words that shut it down, compliments, eye cues, the magic of opposites attracting, and more. It's how to make the best of the most important 90 seconds in any relationship, business or personal. Make instant, meaningful connections. For interviewing, selling, managing, pitching an idea, applying to college—or looking for a soulmate—the secret of success is based on connecting with other people. And you can do it in 90 seconds or less through Nicholas Boothman’s program of establishing face-to-face communication. A master of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Boothman teaches us the concept of synchrony—how to synchronize our attitudes, body language, and voice tone in a way that instantly and imperceptibly makes us irresistibly likable to another person. He explains the different between open and closed body language. The power of communicating with what he calls a Really Useful Attitude. How to be an active listener. And how to identify and read the three most important sensory preferences. Step by step, it shows how to make the very best of any relationship’s most critical moment—those first 90 seconds. "Never again let shyness get in the way of an appointment or interview. Or leave the making of an important contact to chance. Or find yourself tongue-tied or distracted in social situations. The key, according to Nicholas Boothman and his plan for face-to-face communication, is simple -- the way to make a person like you is to make yourself be like that person, if only for the 90 seconds or less it takes to establish rapport." "Learn the power of a Really Useful Attitude, the secrets of voice tone and body language, the difference between "opening up" words and "closing down" words. And reinforcing all of these skills is knowing how to read another person's sensory preference -- most of us are Visual people, some are Kinesthetic and a few are Auditory. So when you say "I see what you mean" to a Visual, you're really speaking his or her language. And then you're on your way. Book jacket."--BOOK JACKET. I. FIRST CONTACT. People power The benefits of connecting Face to face Why likeability works Why 90 seconds? First impressions The meeting An exercise in meeting: firing energy Establishing rapport Communicating What's coming up II. THE 90-SECOND LAND OF RAPPORT. Natural rapport Rapport by chance Rapport by design Attitude is everything Actions speak louder than words Body language Flirting Mixed messages Words vs. tone Being yourself People like people like themselves Synchronizing The bully Doing what comes naturally III. THE SECRETS OF COMMUNICATION. It's not all talk; it's listening, too Missed cues Active listening Give and take Tonality Lasting impressions Spotting sensory preferences Verbal and eye cues.