How to Have That Difficult Conversation You’ve Been Avoiding: With Your Spouse, Adult Child, Boss, Coworker, Best Friend, Parent, or Someone You're Dating

A practical handbook on positive confrontation, now available in softcover with a discussion guide Successful people confront well. They know that setting healthy boundaries improves relationships and can solve important problems. They have discovered that uncomfortable situations can be avoided or resolved through direct conversation. But most of us don't know how to have difficult conversations, and see confrontation as scary or adversarial. Authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend take the principles from their bestselling book, Boundaries, and apply them to a variety of the most common difficult situations and relationships in order to: * Show how healthy confrontation can improve relationships * Present the essentials of a good boundary-setting conversation * Provide tips on preparing for the conversation * Show how to tell people what you want, stop bad behavior, and deal with counterattack * Give actual examples of conversations to have with your spouse, your date, your kids, your coworker, your parents, and more! Full of practical tips and how-tos, this book will help you make your relationships better, deepen your intimacy with people you care for, and cultivate more love, understanding, and respect between you and others. Successful people confront well. They know that setting healthy boundaries improves relationships and can solve important problems. They have discovered that uncomfortable situations can be avoided or resolved through direct conversation. But most of us don't know how to have difficult conversations, and we see confrontation as scary or adversarial. Authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend take the principles from their award-winning and bestselling book, Boundaries, and apply them to a variety of the most common difficult situations and relationships in order to: Show how healthy confrontation can improve relationships Present the essentials of a good boundary-setting conversation Provide tips on preparing for the conversation Show how to tell people what you want, stop bad behavior, and deal with counterattack Give actual examples of conversations to have with your spouse, your date, your kids, your coworker, your parents, and more! This book is a practical handbook on positive confrontation that will help you finally have that difficult conversation you've been avoiding. Includes a discussion guide. Successful people confront well. They know that setting healthy boundaries improves relationships and can solve important problems. They have discovered that uncomfortable situations can be avoided or resolved through direct conversation. But most of us don't know how to have difficult conversations, and we see confrontation as scary or adversarial. Authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend take the principles from their bestselling book, Boundaries, and apply them to a variety of the most common difficult situations and relationships in order to: Show how healthy confrontation can improve relationships Present the essentials of a good boundary-setting conversation Provide tips on preparing for the conversation Show how to tell people what you want, stop bad behavior, and deal with counterattack Give actual examples of conversations to have with your spouse, your date, your kids, your coworker, your parents, and more! Full of practical tips and how-tos, this book will help you make your relationships better, deepen your intimacy with people you care for, and cultivate more love, understanding, and respect between you and others "All of Us need to be able to have a healthy confrontational conversation at one time or another. Sometimes it's a matter of simply saying no so we don't get overextended, or saying yes to better ways of building intimacy in a good relationship. At other times, we may need to confront a difficult person in a relationship-a controller, a manipulator, an irresponsible person, perhaps even someone who is abusive." "How to Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding empowers you to take the initiative in creating relationships that are honest, intimate, and fulfilling. This companion to the bestselling Boundaries shows how to have a helpful and effective confrontation with another person. You'll learn how to talk to your spouse, someone you're dating, your kids, your coworker, your boss, your parents, and others. Full of practical tips and how-tos, this book will help you make your relationships better, deepen your intimacy with people you care for, and cultivate more love, understanding, and respect between you and others. Book jacket."--BOOK JACKET Part I. Why you need to have that difficult conversation The conversation can change your life The benefits of a good conversation Part II. The essentials of a good conversation Be emotionally present Be clear about "you" and "I" Clarify the problem Balance grace and truth Stay on task Use the formula, when you do "a," I feel "b" Affirm and validate Apologize for your part in the problem Avoid "shoulds" Be an agent for change Be specific Differentiate between forgiving and trusting Part III. Seeing how it's done Telling people what you want Making someone aware of something Stopping a behavior Dealing with counterattack and other problems Part IV. Getting ready to have the conversation Why you need to get ready How to get ready Part V. Having the conversation with people in your life With your spouse With someone you're dating With your kids With your parents With your adult children At work With people in authority. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend--the authors of the award-winning and bestselling Boundaries--have written the handbook for having that difficult conversation you've been avoiding. Includes a discussion guide Originally published: Boundaries face to face. Grand Rapids, Mich. : Zondervan, c2003. With discussion guide.