چگونه عادی باشیم: راهنمایی برای گیج‌ها

From the author of Never Hit a Jellyfish With a Spade comes a new volume of answers to life's most troublesome questions Normal people are extremely unusual. Think of all the people you know and ask yourself how many are normal. None of them! In fact you're probably the most normal of the lot and, let's face it, even you're not that normal. All normal people believe they are a little bit different, a little bit unique, and a little bit special. On the other hand no one wants to be abnormal, so it's a fine line to tread. Happily, this amazingly funny book shows everyone exactly how to be uniquely normally normal. Is it normal to hold the banister with both hands? To find the green man at crossings mildly attractive? To be afraid of aggressive hand dryers? To wonder what coconut milk is actually for? Find out the answers to these and a million other perfectly normal questions in another beautifully funny, surprisingly wise, and consistently heart-warming book . Title Page -- Copyright page -- Dedication page -- Contents -- Rubbing Along -- How to be Normal -- How to be Nice -- How to Understand -- How to be Moderate -- How to Smile -- How to be Spontaneous -- How to be Simple -- How to Co-operate -- How to be Modest -- How to Cheer People Up -- Nice Moves -- How to Wiggle -- How to Skip -- How to Turn -- How to Spin -- How to be High -- How to Sparkle -- How to be Soft -- How to Burn -- How to Melt -- How to be Vague -- Loving Feelings -- How to Find Love -- How to Broach Things -- How to Write a Love Letter -- How to Bond -- How to Have a Row -- How to be Happy -- How to be Good in Bed -- How to End a Relationship -- How to be Broken-Hearted -- How to Settle Down -- Out and About -- How to Have a Nice Day -- How to Give Directions -- How to be Cautious -- How to Clap -- How to Spectate -- How to Win -- How to Ignore Stuff -- How to Brag -- How to be Inconspicuous -- How to be Cunning -- Home Help -- How to Spill -- How to Clutter -- How to Clean -- How to Do Chores -- How to be Safe -- How to Deal with a Fly -- How to Hide -- How to Borrow -- How to Measure -- How to Find Things -- Argy-Bargy -- How to Stay Calm -- How to be Angry -- How to Soothe -- How to Panic -- How to Say No -- How to Disagree -- How to Shout -- How to be Grumpy -- How to Make Excuses -- How to Have a Secret -- Natter and Chatter -- How to Natter -- How to Have an Opinion -- How to be Self-Deprecating -- How to Guess -- How to be Silent -- How to Mollify -- How to be Silly -- How to be Serious -- How to be Sensible -- How to Criticize -- Doing and Undoing -- How to Volunteer -- How to be Fair -- How to Forget -- How to Undo Things -- How to Tinker -- How to be a Hog -- How to be Incompetent -- How to Procrastinate -- How to Finish -- Functional Bodies -- How to Have a Body -- How to Whistle -- How to Look -- How to Blow Normal people are extremely unusual. Think of all the people you know and ask yourself how many are normal. None of them! In fact you're probably the most normal of the lot and, let's face it, even you're not that normal. All normal people believe they are a little bit different, a little bit unique and a little bit special. On the other hand no one wants to be abnormal, so it's a fine line to tread. Happily, this brilliantly funny book shows everyone exactly how to be uniquely normally normal. Is it normal to:... hold the banister with both hands?... find the green man at crossings mildly attractive?... drive a shopping trolley on the right?... be afraid of aggressive hand dryers?... wonder what coconut milk is actually for? Find out the answers to these and a million other perfectly normal questions in another beautifully funny, surprisingly wise and consistently heart-warming book from the best-selling Guy Browning. From the bestselling author of Never Hit a Jellyfish With a Spade and Never Push When You Can Pull comes a new volume of answers to life's most troublesome questions.