How Not to Get Rich : The Financial Misadventures of Mark Twain

A Wealthmanagement.com Best Business Book of 2017 An uproarious account of Mark Twains endless attempts to strike it rich, all of which served only to empty his pockets Mark Twains lifetime spans Americas era of greatest economic growth. And Twain was an active, even giddy, participant in all the great booms and busts of his time, launching himself into one harebrained get-rich scheme after another. But far from striking it rich, the man who coined the term Gilded Age failed with comical regularity to join the ranks of plutocrats who made this period in America notorious for its wealth and excess. Instead, Twains mining firm failed, despite striking real silver. He ended up somehow owing money over his 70,000 acres of inherited land. And his plan to market the mysteriously energizing coca leaves from the Amazon fizzled when no ships would sail to South America. Undaunted, Twain poured his money into the latest newfangled inventions of his time, all of which failed miserably. In Crawfords hilarious telling, the familiar image of Twain takes on a new and surprising dimension. Twains story of financial optimism and perseverance is a kind of cracked-mirror history of American business itselfin its grandest cockeyed manifestations, its most comical lows, and its determined refusal to ever give up. “Crawford captures the energy, humor, and wide-eyed hope of America’s first ‘angel investor’ with wit and verve . . . A book that is worthy of Twain himself” (Dan Lyons, New York Times–bestselling author of Disrupted). A Wealth Management Best Business Book of 2017 Mark Twain’s lifetime spans America’s era of greatest economic growth. And Twain was an active, even giddy, participant in all the great booms and busts of his time, launching himself into one harebrained get-rich scheme after another. But far from striking it rich, the man who coined the term “Gilded Age” failed with comical regularity to join the ranks of plutocrats who made this period in America notorious for its wealth and excess. Instead, Twain’s mining firm failed, despite striking real silver. He ended up somehow owing money over his seventy thousand acres of inherited land. And his plan to market the mysteriously energizing coca leaves from the Amazon fizzled when no ships would sail to South America. Undaunted, Twain poured his money into the latest newfangled inventions of his time, all of which failed miserably. In Crawford’s hilarious telling, the familiar image of Twain takes on a new and surprising dimension. Twain’s story of financial optimism and perseverance is a kind of cracked-mirror history of American business itself—in its grandest cockeyed manifestations, its most comical lows, and its determined refusal to ever give up. “Light and frothy, this humorous biography is a lively read.” —Kirkus Reviews “Crawford captures the energy, humor, and wide-eyed hope of America’s first ‘angel investor’ with wit and verve . . . A book that is worthy of Twain himself” (Dan Lyons, New York Times –bestselling author of Disrupted ). A Wealth Management Best Business Book of 2017 Mark Twain’s lifetime spans America’s era of greatest economic growth. And Twain was an active, even giddy, participant in all the great booms and busts of his time, launching himself into one harebrained get-rich scheme after another. But far from striking it rich, the man who coined the term “Gilded Age” failed with comical regularity to join the ranks of plutocrats who made this period in America notorious for its wealth and excess. Instead, Twain’s mining firm failed, despite striking real silver. He ended up somehow owing money over his seventy thousand acres of inherited land. And his plan to market the mysteriously energizing coca leaves from the Amazon fizzled when no ships would sail to South America. Undaunted, Twain poured his money into the latest newfangled inventions of his time, all of which failed miserably. In Crawford’s hilarious telling, the familiar image of Twain takes on a new and surprising dimension. Twain’s story of financial optimism and perseverance is a kind of cracked-mirror history of American business itself—in its grandest cockeyed manifestations, its most comical lows, and its determined refusal to ever give up. “Light and frothy, this humorous biography is a lively read.” — Kirkus Reviews Author's note -- Whatever I touch turns to gold -- That splendid enterprise -- Do you gamble? -- I had to seek another livelihood -- All that glitters -- Rich and brimful of vanity -- The richest place on earth -- Poor, pitiful business! -- It is ours: all ours : everything -- In fairyland -- To live in this style-- -- How the ignorant and inexperienced succeed -- A lie & a fraud -- The proportions of my prosperity -- This awful mechanical miracle -- Our prosperity became embarrassing -- Get me out of business! -- His money is tainted -- Mark Twain loses all -- Knocked flat on my back -- Money for a monument -- You cannot lose a penny -- To succeed in business ... -- Afterword -- Acknowledgments -- Notes -- Index Twain was an active, even giddy, participant in all the great booms and busts of his time, launching himself into one harebrained get-rich scheme after another. But far from striking it rich, he failed with comical regularity in an era notorious for its wealth and excess. Mining firms failed; importing coca leaves from the Amazon fizzled. Crawford tells Twain's story of financial optimism and perseverance, and in doing so creates a cracked-mirror history of American business itself Describes the famed author's many hare-brained, unsuccessful attempts to strike it rich, including a failed silver mine and a plan to market "energizing" coca leaves from the Amazon with no way to import them. A detailed and humorous account of the various disastrous money schemes and entrepreneurial pursuits of Mark Twain, who was noted for his spectacularly bad financial decisions during the Gilded Age