Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person//RUSH/21/EC

An engrossing memoir-meets-investigative report that takes a fresh, frank look at how we treat depression. Depression is a havoc-wreaking illness that masquerades as personal failing and hijacks your life. After a major suicide attempt in her early twenties, Anna Mehler Paperny resolved to put her reporter’s skills to use to get to know her enemy, setting off on a journey to understand her condition, the dizzying array of medical treatments on offer, and a medical profession in search of answers. Charting the way depression wrecks so many lives, she maps competing schools of therapy, pharmacology, cutting-edge medicine, the pill-popping pitfalls of long-term treatment, the glaring unknowns and the institutional shortcomings that both patients and practitioners are up against. She interviews leading medical experts across the US and Canada, from psychiatrists to neurologists, brain-mapping pioneers to family practitioners, and others dabbling in strange hypotheses—and shares compassionate conversations with fellow sufferers. Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me tracks Anna’s quest for knowledge and her desire to get well. Impeccably reported, it is a profoundly compelling story about the human spirit and the myriad ways we treat (and fail to treat) the disease that accounts for more years swallowed up by disability than any other in the world. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, help is available. Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. Cover 1 Front Flap 2 Contents 11 Preface 15 Part I: In the First Person 17 Chapter 1: Cataclysm 19 Chapter 2: When You Try to Die and Don’t 26 Chapter 3: Psych-Ward Sojourn 39 Chapter 4: What, Me Depressed? 53 Chapter 5: When Diagnosis Makes You Crazy 56 Chapter 6: Killing Yourself Is Tougher Than You’d Think 59 Chapter 7: Know Thine Enemy 66 Chapter 8: Checking Boxes 73 Chapter 9: Suicide Blues 80 Chapter 10: Getting in Trouble 95 Part II: Treatment Attempts 105 Chapter 11: A Pill-Popping Parade 107 Chapter 12: Good Noticing! 122 Chapter 13: Zapping, Shocking, and Burning Your Brain into Submission 126 Chapter 14: Brainiacs 137 Chaptre 15: A Dry Pharma Pipeline 148 Chapter 16: Old Illness, New Tricks: The Electrode in Your Brain 156 Chapter 17: Old Illness, New Tricks: From Psychedelics to Smartphones 165 Part III: A Kick in the Teeth 181 Chapter 18: Stigma and Related Bullshit 183 Chapter 19: Through the Cracks 200 Chapter 20: Mental Health Is for Rich People 208 Chapter 21: Trying to Heal the Littlest Minds 215 Chapter 22: “More Children Do Not Have to Die” 228 Chapter 23: Race as Barrier 243 Part IV: In the Maze 257 Chapter 24: Who You Gonna Call? 259 Chapter 25: How to Talk about What We Talk about When We Talk about Wanting to Die 267 Chapter 26: Certifiable 279 Chapter 27: Trust Issues 300 Part V: A Denouement of Sorts 315 Chapter 28: First Person Afterword 317 Resources and Further Reading 324 Acknowledgments 326 Notes 328 Index 346 About the Author 354 Back Flap 355 Back Cover 356 An engrossing memoir-meets-investigative report that takes a fresh, frank look at how we treat depression In her early twenties, investigative journalist Anna Mehler Paperny had already landed her dream job. On the surface, her life was great. Nevertheless, she spiraled out, attempted suicide (the first of more attempts to follow), and landed in the ICU and then in a psych ward before setting out to tackle her recovery. In Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me, Mehler Paperny turns her journalist?s eye on her own experience and others??in the ward; as an outpatient; facing family, friends, and coworkers; finding the right meds; trying to stay insured and employed. She interviews psychiatrists and other experts to reveal how primitive our methods of healing the brain still are?and provides an invaluable guide to a system struggling, and often failing, to help those in need. At once heartrending and humorous, outraging and serious, this is essential reading for anyone touched by depression?and that?s everyone The eye-opening and engrossing story of one woman&;s battle with suicidal depression&;and her firsthand investigative journey to document the obstacles three hundred million people with depression face every day around the world **An engrossing memoir-meets-investigative report that takes a fresh, frank look at how we treat depression**__Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me__ "A personal story of depression, as well as a journalistic account of its role and ramifications in society today"-- Provided by publisher