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Put the country's big, fat political ass on a diet. Lose that drooping deficit. Slim those spreading entitlement programs. Firm up that flabby pair of butt cheeks which are the Senate and the House.Having had a lot of fun with what politicians do, P.J. O'Rourke now has a lot of fun with what we should think about those politicians. Nothing good, to be sure. Best-selling humorist P.J. O’Rourke is back with his latest political masterpiece, Don't Vote—It Just Encourages The Bastards. Using his signature wit and keen observational skills, O’Rourke reflects on his forty year career as a political commentator, spanning his addlepated hippie youth to his current state of right-wing grouch maturity. Don't Vote—It Just Encourages The Bastards is a brilliant, disturbing, hilarious and sobering look at why politics and politicians are a necessary evil--but only just barely necessary. Read P.J. O'Rourke on the pathetic nature of politics and laugh through your tears or—what the hell—just laugh.

"The free market is a bathroom scale. We may not like what we see when we step on the bathroom scale, but we can't pass a law making ourselves weigh 165. Liberals and leftists think we can."

"Given the complete dominance of politics by Committee Brain, the wonder is that anything gets done, and the horror is that it does. What government accomplishes is what you'd expect from a committee. 'A camel is a horse designed by a committee' is a saying that couldn't be more wrong. A camel is a seeing-eye dog designed by a committee and available free with government grants to the halt and the lame."

"The most sensible request we make of government is not 'Do something!' but 'Quit it!'"

"We have the cow of economic freedom. Do we take the cow to market and trade her for the magic beans of bailout and stimulus? When we climb that beanstalk we're going to find a giant government at the top. Are we going to be as lucky as Jack the giant killer was? I'm not sure Jack himself was that lucky with his giant killing. My guess is the Jack spent years being investigated by giant subcommittees and now Jack's paying a giant tax on his beanstalk bonus."

"I caught my six-year-old, Buster, playing 'health care provider' with one of the little girls in his first-grade class. They were filling out toy forms fully clothed."

"We baby boomers are a pathetic bunch. And it didn't start with the Beatles, marijuana, and the pill. Recall the coonskin cap. I wore mine to school. Children of previous eras may have worn coonskin caps, but they had to eat the raccoons first."

Apologia pro !%@& sua The Sex, Death, and Boredom Theory of politics. Kill fuck marry ; Politics makes us free and we're worth it ; A digression on happiness ; The happy realization that all freedoms are economic freedoms (and failure is an option) ; The murderous perverted nuptial bliss method of establishing political principles ; The purgatory of freedom and the hell of politics ; Morality in politics and what's it doing in there? ; Taxes ; More taxes ; Being penny-wise What is to be done? The U.S.S. Thresher bailout and the washing-machine-for-her-birthday stimulus plan ; And while we're at it ; Generation Vex ; Health care reform ; Climate change ; The end of the American automobile industry ; The trade imbalance ; Gun control ; Campaign finance reform ; Terrorism ; Foreign policy ; Foreign policy, part 2 : it keeps getting more foreign Putting our big, fat political ass on a diet. Why I'm right ; When the right went wrong ; A digression on shouting at each other ; The next big stink ; The fix is in ; All hands on deck. America's most subversive conservative, O'Rourke describes government as a devil's bargain between power, freedom, and responsibility, and goes on to hilariously skewer the politicians who have bargained with us to consolidate power, and the many mini-bargains and evasions that citizens have made with the consequences of their choice. A humorous take on political theory skewers the irresponsibility of many members of Congress and takes a hard look at recent legislation