Divorce Poison : Protecting the Parent-child Bond From a Vindictive Ex

your Ex-spouse Is Bad-mouthing You To Your Children, Perhaps Even Trying To Turn Them Against You. If You Handle The Situation Ineffectively, You Could Lose Your Children's Respect, Their Affection—even, In Extreme Cases, Contact With Them. backed By Twenty-five Years Of Experience In Helping Families, Dr. Richard Warshak Presents Powerful Strategies For Dealing With Everything From Tainted Parent-child Relationships In Which Children Are Disrespectful Or Reluctant To Show Their Affection To Disturbances In Which Children Virtually Disown An Entire Side Of The Family. divorce Poison Offers Advice On How To: recognize Early Warning Signs Of Trouble react If Your Children Refuse To See You respond To Rude And Hateful Behavior avoid The Seven Most Common Errors Made By Rejected Parents this Groundbreaking Work Gives Parents Powerful Strategies To Preserve And Rebuild Loving Relationships With Their Children And Provides Legal And Mental-health Professionals With Practical Advice To Help Their Clients And Ensure The Welfare Of Children. Title Page 2 Dedication Page 3 Epigraph Page 4 Contents 6 Acknowledgments 12 Introduction 14 Chapter One 20 The United Front 23 When Silence Is Not Golden 26 How to Distinguish Between Helpful and Harmful Criticism 28 Chapter Two 37 Bad-mouthing 37 Bashing 41 Brainwashing 43 Parental Alienation Syndrome 44 Children Who Resist Divorce Poison 47 Chapter Three 52 The Hate Campaign 53 Trivial Explanations for the Hatred 53 False Abuse Accusations 58 Polarizing Parents: Saints and Sinners 64 Parroting Adults 65 Declaration of Independence 65 Hatred by Association 66 Alienation Without Divorce Poison 74 Justified Alienation 74 Child-Driven Alienation 76 Understanding the Roots of Alienation 79 Is It Alienation or Not? 82 False Accusations of Parental Alienation 94 Chapter Four 97 Poor Boundaries 98 Revenge 101 Narcissism 103 Guilt 107 Insecurity 107 Seeking Validation 108 Holding On with Hate 109 Paranoia 112 Reenactments 115 Hostility Toward the Children 117 Custody Ligitation 119 Preventing Alienation During Custody Litigation 127 Remarriage 130 Chapter Five 142 Isolation 142 Relocation 145 Kidnapping 152 Stripping 156 Fear 157 Chapter Six 160 The Name Game 160 Repetition 167 Selective Attention 168 Judging Behavior Out of Context 173 Exaggeration 179 Lies 180 Revisionist History 182 The Total Change Theory 185 Suggestions and Innuendos 186 Exploitation 190 Projection 191 Rationalization 194 Holier Than Thou 197 With God on Our Side 199 “The Truth” 203 Overindulgence 204 Encroachment 206 Cloak and Dagger 211 Cognitive Dissonance 212 Conspiracy 213 Tamper-Resistant Packaging 214 Chapter Seven 217 Empathy 218 The Power of Indirect Communication 219 Fly on the Wall 221 Two Steps Removed 222 Using Third Parties 223 Strike While the Iron Is Cold 224 Creating Bridges 225 Healing Experiences 228 Memorializing the Positive 230 The Way We Were 232 Sowing Seeds in the Psyche 234 Vacations 235 Divide and Conquer: The Value of Separating Siblings 236 Contagion Control: Helping Children Stay Neutral 238 With God on Our Side-Revisited 239 Agree to Disagree 241 No One’s Perfect 243 Think for Yourself 243 Brainwashing 101 245 Films and Television 248 Become a Better Parent 250 Avoid Common Errors 252 Damage Control 256 Ann Landers’s Reconciliation Day 258 Chapter Eight 260 When to Call the Therapist 260 How Therapy Can Help 261 How You Can Help Your Therapist 265 Selecting Therapists 267 Conditions of Treatment 271 Child Custody Evaluations 281 Phasing In Versus Moving In 286 Moving Out of One Home Without Moving into the Other 288 Hiring an Attorney 290 Chapter Nine 293 When to Let Go 294 How to Let Go 295 Staying in Touch after Letting Go 298 New Bridges 299 Alienated Children as Adults 300 Coping with the Loss 302 Hope for the Future 303 Resources 306 Index 312 About the Author 326 Praise 328 Also by Dr. Richard A. Warshak 331 Copyright Notice 332 About the Publisher 333 Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to the children, often or constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn the children against you.