Cognitive behaviour therapy : your route out of perfectionism, self-sabotage and other everyday habits with CBT

"What happens to you in life matters less than the way you feel about life; that's the message of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). If you've ever tried to change something about yourself--your mood, your weight, your behaviour--you'll have noticed that change often hurts, so you stop trying. CBT can help you when change starts to hurt. In the revised and updated edition of this bestselling title, professional CBT practitioner Avy Joseph shows you how to challenge negative thoughts and unhealthy beliefs to improve your outlook in your personal and professional life. New edition will include: updated scenarios and exercises for the reader to practice using CBT techniques, mental health in the pandemic/post pandemic world, 'Action Tendencies' versus Behaviour, advances of the REBT model of CBT, mindfulness and REBT, non-malicious envy vs malicious envy, emotional responsibility in practice"--Provided by publisher Cover 1 Title Page 5 Copyright Page 6 Contents 9 Acknowledgements 11 Introduction to the Third Edition 13 Chapter 1 Understanding CBT for Goal Achievement 17 The Emotional Responsibility Principle 20 Is it true that events, situations or people make us feel what we feel? 21 Is it true that events or people make us do what we do? 22 The Behavioural Principle 24 The ‘Here and Now’ Principle 24 The Scientific Principle 25 Truth 26 Common sense 27 Helpfulness 29 Types of thoughts 30 1. Inferences 30 2. Evaluations or beliefs 31 Theory made simple 32 Beliefs 34 Chapter 2 The Four Belief Pairs 49 Want to versus have to 51 ‘Have to’ and ‘must’ are rigid and inflexible 52 ‘Have to’ and ‘must’ are not logical 54 ‘Have to’ and ‘must’ are not helpful 55 Bad versus awful 57 Awfulizing beliefs are rigid and inflexible 58 Awfulizing beliefs are not consistent with reality 59 Awfulizing beliefs are not logical 60 Awfulizing beliefs are not helpful 61 Difficult versus unbearable 63 LFT beliefs are rigid and inflexible 65 LFT beliefs are not consistent with reality 66 LFT beliefs are not logical 66 LFT beliefs are not helpful 67 Self-acceptance versus self-damning 69 Self-damningbeliefs are rigid and inflexible 71 Self-damningis inconsistent with reality 72 Self-damningbeliefs are not logical 74 Self-damning beliefs are not helpful 75 The concepts at the heart of healthy beliefs 77 I want to but I don’t have to 77 Bad but not the end of the world 78 Difficult but not unbearable 79 Chapter 3 Setting Your Goals 81 Reflect on what you want 83 Your balance wheel 84 Importance of what you want 89 Setting SMART goals 90 Specific 91 Measurable 92 Achievable 92 Realistic 92 Time-oriented 93 Current goal-sabotaging beliefs 94 Identifying your current sabotaging beliefs 97 What type of questions do you ask? 98 Goal achievement beliefs to support your SMART goal 102 Example: Jane’s healthy version of her first unhealthy belief 103 Personally persuasive reasons – what’s in it for me? 104 Chapter 4 Overcoming Obstacles to Goal Achievement 109 Tolerating tension and discomfort 127 Focusing on the goal 130 How to tolerate the natural discomfort 131 Chapter 5 Developing Cognitive Skills through Your Internal Dialogue 133 Internal dialogue or self-talk 136 Negative automatic thoughts 137 Your hot thoughts 138 How to change internal dialogue 139 How to change negative automatic thoughts 142 How to change your hot thoughts 143 Past, present and future expressions 144 Force and rigour 147 Chapter 6 Using Imagination and Visualization 151 Start with your Imagination 154 Imagining a healthy response to a negative event –healthy belief 155 What if the feeling of discomfort is overwhelming? 155 Triggering a positive feeling and imagining a healthy response to a negative event – healthy belief 156 Using Audio 157 Other Audio Recordings 158 Positive Imagery After you have Imagined Dealing with the Negative 160 Two futures – positive visualisation technique 160 More on Self-Talk 161 Structuring an affirmation 162 How to use your self-talk affirmation 163 Future image 165 Repetition 166 Chapter 7 Developing Resiliency 169 Challenges within your control 172 Your own beliefs 172 Your own feelings (on the whole) 173 Your own behaviour and performance 174 Your thoughts 175 Challenges outside your control 175 Other people 175 Certainty in everything 176 Resources for resiliency 176 Meta emotions 176 Examples of healthy beliefs about comfort or discomfort 178 Metaphoric imagery about resiliency 180 Positive imagery technique for developing resiliency 182 Cognitive emotive triggers 184 Disputing 186 Metaphoric disputing 193 Chapter 8 Taking Action and Responsibility 195 Accountability and action 198 1. To develop your ability and performance 200 2. To enhance your knowledge and skills 200 3. To get involved in something new and challenging 200 Be open and learn from failures and disappointment 204 Acknowledge and express your feelings appropriately 208 How to express your emotions 210 When you have achieved what you wanted 211 When you have partly achieved what you wanted 212 When you have not achieved what you wanted 213 Decision making 213 Do it again 217 Chapter 9 Accepting the Possibility of Failure and Disappointment 219 Failure and failing 223 Accepting responsibility for failure and failing 225 Accepting failure and failing when they are out of your control 226 Not accepting failure and failing 226 What happens when you fail? 227 Common unhealthy emotions experienced when failure occurs 229 Why do you fail? 232 You failed – you are not a failure 234 Accepting disappointment 235 Accept the challenges of life 237 Take action now 237 Chapter 10 Developing a Healthy Philosophy of Balance 239 Short-term comfort 243 Long-term gain 249 Balance 250 Fallibility 251 Summary 252 I, you, the world 253 Understanding 254 Apply what you understand 255 Accepting fallibility 256 Summary of the CBT process of change and goal accomplishment 257 About the Author 259 Index 261 EULA 275