Coaching for an Extraordinary Life : One of America's Top Professional Coaches Shares Techniques You Can Use in Your Everyday Life

Levine, who always supported me, mentored and "coached me" to live my dreams. And to my extraordinary husband and partner, Mark, who continues to be my supporter, mentor, and my coach and believes in me unconditionally. I am truly blessed by my coaches. Donna Eliassen for her editing. Kimberly D'Angelo for her creative designs. Jim Donovan, my publisher and book coach, for walking beside me throughout this process. My clients who enrich my life, teach me many lessons, and bring me great joy. The students at Comprehensive Coaching U for reminding me that everyone benefits from coach training and deserves to learn these tools. ix T he idea for this book came from my work as a professional and personal coach. As I coached people of all ages, all backgrounds, and from all continents, I began to realize the powerful coaching tools I had been using were changing people's lives, as they learned to use these same tools for themselves. Later, through the coach training company that I founded, I learned that many of our students weren't in the training program to be personal and professional coaches, they were there to use the tools to be more effective in their personal and professional lives. I began to imagine a world where each of us learned these coaching tools, these life tools, as we developed from childhood. I know we'd all be better children, friends, teachers, parents, community members, partners, lovers, business owners, employees ... better people. Coaching tools are really people tools, and I think they need to be made available to the public rather than hidden in coach training programs. We all deserve to have the same skills that coaches have. I know, from personal experience, that coaches have more evolved lives and are typically happier with who they are and what they do. I know that many people who hire a coach gain this satisfaction with themselves as a benefit of the 1 An Overview of Basic An Overview of Basic An Overview of Basic An Overview of Basic An Overview of Basic Coaching Skills Coaching Skills Coaching Skills Coaching Skills Coaching Skills Coaching Skill: Connection A s human beings, we are all connected in some way. Sometimes, we may not see this or may wish we weren't connected to others; however, we are all made of the same stuff and share our humanness. It is essential that we recognize and accept this as our first premise. ## Coach : Not at all. Client: Because I'm okay with this; it's not something I want to change. Coach: Okay, and I thank you for putting that out there for me. Whether you're 60 pounds, or 200 pounds, or 6000 pounds, you're still Fred, and I'm excited to work with you. Client: While we're working together, if I really don't want to do something, maybe I don't want to change my job, how do you deal with that? Coach: It's really up to you what your goals are. As the Coach, I stand for you as a human being; as a person, I stand for your rights and who you are as an individual, and not for what the goals are that you accomplish. So it's not about what you do or what you accomplish, it's about becoming more you. Let's listen in on another client session to further understand this principle: Coach: Tell me more about how you create income so I can better understand. Client: I'm a professional gambler. Coach: Okay. Client: Now, I don't know if that bothers you or not, and I don't want to change that. It's very lucrative. Coach: Okay, whatever it is that you do is whatever it is that you do to create income. I stand for who you are. So, what is the intent of your coaching with me, Tom? Client: I just want to be better balanced and be happier. I really don't want to give up my gambling. Coach: Okay. Does gambling get in the way of your happiness or your balance? Client: Maybe, sometimes. Coach: Would you be willing to talk about how that gets in there? I have no judgment, no opinion; it's totally Overview of Basic Coaching Skills Coaching for an Extraordinary Life up to you what you want to do, and it will be throughout all of our coaching. Client: Okay. Coach: Would you allow me to ask you some questions as we do our coaching together, so that you can get honest answers and go deep within yourself to make your own decisions, and just allow me to probe a little deeper than most people have probably probed with you? Client: I think so. Coach: If you're willing, our coaching will work. I do want you to know, if I ever get to a place where it feels uncomfortable, you simply say, "Don't want to go there. Don't want to answer that. " Okay? Client: Okay. Coach: Great, and again, Tom, I stand for you; anything and everything you tell me is confidential. It's between us and I hold no judgment. Client: Okay. Coach: Great. Let's listen in on still another session: Coach: Hi, Sasha! Client: Hi. Are you able to understand me? I have a very heavy accent and I really think that's going to be a problem on the telephone. People have trouble understanding me. Even though I'm really smart, they treat me like I'm dumb because of my accent. Coach: Okay. Are you asking if I have a problem understanding you? Client: Well, yes. Do you have a problem that I'm from the Ukraine, with this heavy accent? You may not want to work with me because of this. Coach: I'm delighted to work with you, and if there is something that I have trouble understanding or you have trouble understanding, let's just honor each other and be sure we ask the other person, or