Claw your way to the top: how to become the head of a major corporation in roughly a week. Illustrated by Jerry O'Brien

Barry offers hilarious tips on getting to the top and staying there. From Primitive human businesses to tax implications of going into business for yourself, comedian Dave Barry mocks all aspects of the corporate jungle in this classic volume.

Working up the corporate ladder is all well and good for most people, but you are not "most people." You are a highly motivated individual who wants to be on the fast track, and you cannot afford to fritter away valuable time working diligently and competently on the job. You need Dave Barry's surefire tips in Claw Your Way to the Top!

* "A good resume is more than just a piece of paper. It can mean the difference between not getting a job and not even coming close."

* "Can you get a job in business? Heck yes! Don't you listen to those Negative Nellies who tell you there aren't any good jobs anymore, just because the steel, automobile, shoe, clothing, railroad, and agricultural industries have all collapsed!"

* "I don't mean to suggest for a moment that all it takes to be a top executive is a custom-tailored European suit. You also need the correct shirt and tie."

* "Remember, your subordinates are not machines. They are human beings with the same dreams as you. OK, maybe not all the same dreams. Probably they don't have the one where you're naked in a vat of Yoo-Hoo with the Soviet gymnastics team."

* "Ask any business school professor, and he'll tell you a good memo is clear, concise, and well-organized. Now ask him what his annual salary is. It's probably less than most top executives spend in a month on shoe maintenance."

Dave Barry is Not Making This Up......Page 1 Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need......Page 95 Dave Barry Slept Here......Page 162 Babies And Other Hazards of Sex......Page 231 Bad Habits......Page 274 Claw Your Way To The Top......Page 399 Dave Barry's Greatest Hits......Page 445 Guide To Marriage And/Or Sex......Page 576 Homes And Other Black Holes......Page 618 Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead......Page 666 The Taming of The Screw......Page 708 When we look around us at the modern world, we see businesses everywhere, unless of course we happen to be, for example, in the bathroom.