Calorie accounting : the foolproof diet-by-numbers plan for a skinnier new you

Dieting is ridiculous. It's a never-ending roller-coaster ride of ups and downs, corkscrews and loop-the-loops, rattled brains and upset stomachs. Every day a new morning show nutritionist announces the latest yogalates pose or rare strain of kale designed to attack those stubborn ass dimples, but every day, no matter what new acai Kool-Aid you're drinking, your ass dimples are multiplying! It's not adding up, and it's time to do the math. Calorie Accounting is a fun and funny, cool and creative, visual and vibrant lifestyle how-to that delivers the skinny on the arithmetic of weight loss. Typically, there's nothing less enjoyable than being fat and preferring not to be, but Calorie Accounting finally allows us to cut the crap and face this thing head on#x97;with jokes, puns, humiliating photos, and self-deprecation! Because after all, in the all-too-heavy world of health and fitness, can't we afford to lighten up a bit? Calorie Accounting is a tried-and-true diet plan, developed, followed, and documented by Mandy Levy, your author and sarcastic best friend. Her been-there-done-that words and pictures will inspire, mentor, and guide you through your own weight-loss success story with step-by-step instructions and extended metaphors for: Checks and balances! Shopping! Shakin' that moneymaker! Recipes (for disaster)! And more! "Dieting is ridiculous. It?s a never-ending roller-coaster ride of ups and downs, corkscrews and loop-the-loops, rattled brains and upset stomachs. Every day a new morning show nutritionist announces the latest yogalates pose or rare strain of kale designed to attack those stubborn ass dimples, but every day, no matter what new acai Kool-Aid you?re drinking, your ass dimples are multiplying! It?s not adding up, and it?s time to do the math. Calorie Accounting is a fun and funny, cool and creative, visual and vibrant lifestyle how-to that delivers the skinny on the arithmetic of weight loss. Typically, there?s nothing less enjoyable than being fat and preferring not to be, but Calorie Accounting finally allows us to cut the crap and face this thing head on?with jokes, puns, humiliating photos, and self-deprecation! Because after all, in the all-too-heavy world of health and fitness, can?t we afford to lighten up a bit? Calorie Accounting is a tried-and-true diet plan, developed, followed, and documented by Mandy Levy, your author and sarcastic best friend. Her been-there-done-that words and pictures will inspire, mentor, and guide you through your own weight-loss success story,"--Amazon.com Cover; Title Page; Copyright; Dedication; Contents; Disclaimer; Four Word; Foreword; Introduction: Well Who the Hell Are You?; Calorieconomics 101; Workbook!; The Proof is in the Pudding ... ; But Don't Eat the Pudding!; I'm Real; Budgeting Your Bulge Away; Left Brain Logical; Earning Your Meal; Getting Your Calorie's Worth, or, The Jew in All of Us; Pickles!!!; Oodles of Noodles; Moving Your Moneymaker; Working for the Weekend; Artsy Fartsy; POOP!; Your Money's No Good Here; Suck It!; A Hop, Skip, and a Jump to Skinny; Dear Dietry; Salad Dressing!; Embezzlement; For a Song Mandy Levy is an Emmy-winning writer, comedian, and karaoke enthusiast. She's gotten occasionally fat due to her love of cheese and parties, so she developed Calorie Accounting as an attempt to achieve and maintain a bangin' bod once and for all. Using the best practices from countless dieting efforts over the last fifteen years, something finally clicked, and she's here to share her riches with the world. Mandy splits her time between Brooklyn, New York (with her cat and her TV), and New Orleans, Louisiana (with her boyfriend and his TV) When All's Accounted ForRecipes!; Loser Ledger!; Index!; Acknowledgments!; Masks!