Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs : Raising the Bar of Expectations

Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs challenges families and professionals to help children with special needs to reach their full potential by using a proven motivational, how-to approach. This groundbreaking and inspiring book provides detailed information on how to let go of the “perfect-baby” dream, face and resolve grief, avoid the no-false-hope syndrome, access early intervention services, and avoid the use of limiting and outdated labels. Also included are specific guidelines for working with professionals, understanding the law and inclusion, planning for the future, and insightful interviews with Dana Reeve of the Christopher Reeve Foundation, Tim Shriver of Special Olympics, and Diane Bubel of the Bubel/Aiken Foundation.

"The essential companion for parents and professionals who care for individuals with special needs."

—From the Foreword by Gail Williamson, executive director, Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles

"Judy Winter's book is a wonderful story filled not only with practical insights but also with inspirational ideas for how parents can imagine a future filled with high hopes for every child."

—Timothy P. Shriver, Ph.D., chairman of the board, Special Olympics

"This wonderful book is a tribute to the power of faith, optimism, and possibility thinking. Breakthrough Parenting for Children with Special Needs will provide hope and inspiration to all families challenged by special needs."

—Dr. Robert H. Schuller, founding pastor, Crystal Cathedral Ministries/Hour of Power, and author, Don't Throw Away Tomorrow

"It's about ability, not disability! I believe Ms. Winter will influence many parents and give them a positive outlook in raising their children."

—Chris Burke, actor, aka Corky from Life Goes On

Children's Literature

This is a book by a parent of a special needs child (cerebral palsy in the case of her son Eric) written for other parents with children presenting special needs, from autism to visual impairments. Ms. Winters has done her research and offers good factual information and loads of resources for many types of special needs, as well as personal narratives from parents who have lived with these children. She is a cheerleader for engaging with special needs children as fully, lovingly, and hopefully as possible. At the same time, she offers empathy and support for coping as a parent and advocate—how to deal with the fear, anger, grief, and potential disillusionment as a parent, and also how to get beyond the frustration that accompanies dealing with the many bureaucracies that often do not seem to understand or see beyond the special needs. She offers first-hand advice about how to advocate for one's child, one's self, and one's family. One could not ask for a more humane or accessible self-help book for parents of special needs children. Competent indexing makes any topic easy to find, and the book closes with an encouragement to access her web site or contact her personally.

Contents 7 Foreword 9 A Word from Brooke Ellison 13 Acknowledgments 17 Introduction: Raising the Bar of Expectations for Children with Special Needs 23 Chapter 1: The Perfect-Baby Dream 35 A SUCCESS STORY 36 LETTING GO OF THE PERFECT-BABY DREAM 42 FORGING NEW PARENTING DREAMS 45 CONFRONTING SPECIAL NEEDS PARENTING MYTHS 48 SPECIAL TIPS 52 Chapter 2: First You Cry 55 A SUCCESS STORY 57 UNDERSTANDING AND RESOLVING GRIEF 61 ASK FOR THE SUPPORT YOU NEED 70 SPECIAL TIPS 75 Chapter 3: No Labels, Yes Hope 79 A SUCCESS STORY 80 AVOIDING USE OF LIMITING LABELS AND LANGUAGE 86 SPECIAL TIPS 91 Chapter 4: The Pre-K and Elementary Years 97 A SUCCESS STORY 98 UNDERSTANDING THE LAW 101 UNDERSTANDING THE INDIVIDUALIZED EDUCATION PROGRAM 107 SPECIAL TIPS 115 Chapter 5: Middle School, Junior High, and High School 121 THEY AREN’T BABIES ANYMORE 121 UNDERSTANDING TRANSITION AND PREPARING FOR THE WORKPLACE AND COLLEGE 133 Chapter 6: Advocating for Techniques and Programs That Work 144 A SUCCESS STORY 145 PROGRAMS THAT WORK 151 COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY 154 UNDERSTANDING MEDIATION AND DUE PROCESS 161 SPECIAL TIPS 163 Chapter 7: Embracing a New Defifinition of Family and Planning for the Future 169 A SUCCESS STORY 170 CELEBRATING FATHERS AND GRANDPARENTS 179 PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE 187 SPECIAL TIPS 190 Chapter 8: Preserving Your Marriage, Caring for Yourself, and Surviving the Death of a Child 195 A SUCCESS STORY 196 THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CARE 204 THE POWER OF THE THREE F’S: FAITH, FREEDOM, AND FRIENDSHIP 205 SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A CHILD 209 SPECIAL TIPS 216 Chapter 9: Meeting the Needs of Siblings 220 A SUCCESS STORY 221 THE SIBLING SUPPORT PROJECT AND SIBSHOPS ROCK 231 SPECIAL TIPS 238 Chapter 10: Honoring Special Needs Excellence 245 SUCCESS STORY 246 THE GRANDDADDY OF THEM ALL— SPECIAL OLYMPICS 250 TURNING TRAGEDY INTO TRIUMPH— THE CHRISTOPHER REEVE FOUNDATION 256 THE NEW KID ON THE SPECIAL NEEDS BLOCK: THE BUBEL/AIKEN FOUNDATION 264 THE FUTURE OF SPECIAL NEEDS 265 SPECIAL TIPS 267 About the Author 271 Index 273 Introduction: raising the bar of expectations for children with special needs Welcome to breakthrough parenting for children with special needs: Judy Winter's special needs bill of rights for children and young adults The perfect-baby dream First you cry No labels, yes hope Guidelines for the preschool through college years: Judy Winter's special needs bill of rights for parents The pre-K and elementary years Middle school, junior high, and high school Advocating for techniques and programs that work Focusing on the family: Judy Winter's special needs bill of rights for siblings Embracing a new definition of family and planning for the future Preserving your marriage, caring for yourself, and surviving the death of a child Meeting the needs of siblings Honoring special needs excellence: Judy Winter's special needs bill of rights for professionals Honoring special needs excellence About the author. In contrast to other guides that warn special needs parents about the many things their children will never accomplish or become, this book will challenge families and professionals to help children with special needs reach their full potential through a proven, motivational how-to approach. Offers parents of children with special needs practical advice and a proven method for dealing with the challenges they face on a daily basis, with tips and strategies to help parents become the best advocate for their child's schooling, development, and health care needs