Brave(ish) : A Memoir of a Recovering Perfectionist

At forty, Margaret quits her sales job to follow her husband's hotel career to Paris. She's setting sail on this adventure with a glass half full of bravery, a well-traveled passport, a journal in which she plans to write her novel, and the mentally engrained Davis Family Handbook of Rules to Live By. Everyone tells Margaret she's living the dream, but she feels adrift without a professional identity. Desperate to feel productive and valued, she abandons her writing and throws herself into new roles: perfect wife, hostess, guide, and expatriate. When she and her husband move to Cairo, however, the void inside she's been ignoring threatens to engulf her. It's clear that something needs to change, so she does the one thing she was raised never to do: asks for—and accepts—help. Over the next fifteen years abroad, the cultures of Egypt, Thailand, and Singapore confront Margaret with lessons she never would have learned at home. But it's only when they move back to Chicago—with Margaret now stepping into the role of perfect caretaker to her parents—that she has to decide once and for all: will she dare to let go of the old rules and roles she thinks keep her safe in order to step into her own life and creative destiny? When she was twenty, Patricia Reis's mother asked, “What about your spiritual life?” Years later, this question drives her midlife quest to reconcile the desires of her body with the mandates of her spirit. Motherlines is a candid and compelling story of sex with men and with women, of celibacy, illegal abortions, making vows and breaking them, dreams, body wisdom, creative ambition, and inspiring relationships with memorable characters. This unflinching memoir illuminates the unvarnished truth of growing up female in the 1980's a rich and fertile period in American history when gender roles were undergoing a revolution, a time that includes feminism, the women's spirituality movement and liberation theology. In her soul-searching quest for meaning, and longing for maternal connection, Reis discovers an unlikely confidante in her aunt, a free-spirited Franciscan nun. Their letters and relationship are a thread that weaves throughout this memoir – an increasingly intimate and honest exchange between two women who are living very different lives yet are both kin and kindred spirits. A spiritual journey and a creative tour de force, this memoir is a potent and tender love song to the Motherlines that connect us all. At the age of thirty-five, desperate to salvage a self that has been suffocating for years—and to save her two-year-old son from witnessing a miserable relationship between his parents—Jane Binns leaves her husband of twelve years. She has no plan or intention but to leave, however, and therein begins the misadventures lying in wait for her. Over the years that follow, Binns falls in love with Steve, a man eighteen years her senior who has been suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder since his return from military service in Vietnam forty years prior, and who has a talent for making her feel heard. Despite his inability to provide anything more than a spurious connection, run on a mercurial and erratic schedule, and despite his repeated rejections of her love, she continues to pursue him. During their off periods, she dates other men—but she inevitably compares each new suitor to Steve, and all of them fall short. Ultimately, it takes the loss of her father in the summer of 2014, followed by the death of her ex-husband five months later, for her to finally let go of Steve—and, in the process, fully unearth the self she's been chasing all along. "At the age of thirty-five, desperate to salvage a self that has been suffocating for years and to save her two-year-old son from witnessing a miserable relationship between his parents--Jane Binns leaves her husband of twelve years. She has no plan or intention but to leave, however, and therein begins the misadventures lying in wait for her. Over the years that follow, Binns falls in love with Steve, a man eighteen years her senior who has been suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder since his return from military service in Vietnam forty years prior, and who has a talent for making her feel heard. Despite his inability to provide anything more than a spurious connection and despite his repeated rejections of her love, she continues to pursue him. During their off periods, she dates other men--but she inevitably compares each new suitor to Steve, and all of them fall short. Ultimately, it takes the loss of her father in the summer of 2014, followed by the death of her ex-husband five months later, for her to finally let go of Steve--and, in the process, fully unearth the self she's been chasing all along."--Provided by publisher Chile—named the Lonely Planet 2017 destination of the year—has been Suzanne Adam's home for over four decades. She knows the territory—its culture, its idiosyncrasies, and its exotic landscapes, from Patagonian glaciers to the northern Atacama Desert. In this heartfelt collection of sixty-three personal essays, she searches for universal truths and sparks of beauty revealed in small, daily moments both in her native land—the United States—and in Chile. She considers how her American past and move to Chile have shaped her life and enriched her worldview, and she explores with insight questions on aging, women's roles, spiritual life, friendship, love, and writers who inspire.In a return trip to Colombia fifty years after her two-year stay there as a Peace Corps Volunteer, Adam reflects on the mark left on her by that experience. Finally, she crosses America from east to west, immersing herself in regional cultures and discovering a common thread of reciprocity throughout. When Margaret Bendet is told to interview an Indian holy man, she thinks it's just another assignment--but after speaking with him, she decides to accompany him back to his ashram, hoping to find enlightenment. In Learning to Eat Along the Way, Bendet enters a world that many have wondered about but few have seen: the milieu of a spiritual master. Subtle experiences prompt her to embark on this journey with "the swami," as she calls the holy man, and to enter into the ashram--but once there, she deals with a host of psychological issues, including intense infatuation and life-threatening anorexia. "Each person comes to the ashram in order to receive something," the swami tells her, "something to take with you when you leave--something you can eat along the way." Bendet finds this to be truer than she could have imagined. Clear-eyed and candid, Learning to Eat Along the Way is an honest and often surprising account of one woman's experience with spiritual work. "Odile Atthalin was a young woman from a prominent, bourgeois family in Paris when she decided to leave home in search of meaning. All she knew was that she wanted to go East; but once she had separated from France and committed to creating a new life for herself, opportunities fell into place. After years of travels around the world, including a life-changing four years in an Indian ashram, Atthalin settled in Berkeley, CA, where she found all she needed: her first real home; a godson with special needs to nurture, to whom she became a devoted godmother; and a subculture of seekers, writers, guides, healers, artists, and spiritual creatives-a diverse tribe in which she could fit and finally felt she belonged."--from Amazon.com Chile--named the Lonely Planet 2017 destination of the year--has been Suzanne Adam's home for over four decades. She knows the territory--its culture, its idiosyncrasies, and its exotic landscapes, from Patagonian glaciers to the northern Atacama Desert. In this heartfelt collection of sixty-three personal essays, she searches for universal truths and sparks of beauty revealed in small, daily moments both in her native land--the United States--and in Chile. She considers how her American past and move to Chile have shaped her life and enriched her worldview, and she explores with insight questions on aging, women's roles, spiritual life, friendship, love, and writers who inspire -- Amazon.com "Motherlines is a candid and compelling story of sex with men and with women, of celibacy, illegal abortions, making vows and breaking them, dreams, body wisdom, creative ambition, and inspiring relationships with memorable characters. An unflinching memoir that reveals the unvarnished truth about growing up female in the 1980s--a rich and fertile period in American history that includes feminism, the women's spiritualty movement, and liberation theology -- Motherlines reveals how a woman's true spiritual growth is dependent on the love of others who witness, encourage, and ensure her possiblilty." P. [4] of cover In 1972 A California Woman Follows Her Boyfriend To His Native Chile And Never Returns. In These Heartfelt Personal Essays, Adam Attempts To Balance The Sense Of Loss (of Family, Friends, And Homeland) That Followed With Sparks Of Pleasure And Satisfaction In Her Chilean Life, While Exploring How Her American Past And Move To Chile Have Shaped Her Life And Enriched Her World View. In Her Midlife Search For Meaning, And Longing For Maternal Connection, Patricia Reis Encounters Uncommon Women Who Inspire Her Journey And Discovers An Unlikely Confidante In Her Aunt, A Free-spirited Franciscan Nun. After Interviewing An Indian Holy Man, Newspaper Reporter Margaret Bendet Follows Him In Pursuit Of Enlightenment—unconditional And Unending Joy—and Ends Up Facing Demons That Were Inside Her All Along. A Humorous And Thoughtful Retrospective About One Woman's Post-divorce Search For Self In The Midst Of Disastrous Dates And Serious Relationships.