Belly Laughs : The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth

From Publishers Weekly McCarthy, 1994 Playmate of the Year, actress ( Scream 3 ; Baywatch ; etc.) and former host of MTV's Singled Out , gave birth to her first child in 2002. Her pregnancy wasn't pretty—and she wants to tell readers all about it. At the outset, she tells them, ''If you bought this book, you are already aware of my frankness when it comes to certain things—anatomy and bodily functions among them. If someone gave this book to you as a gift and you've never heard of me, apologies to you!'' She goes on to recount the nitty-gritty of pregnancy in all its gory detail, covering morning sickness, hormonal rage, cravings, hemorrhoids, ''engorged'' breasts, gas, hot flashes, fainting spells, weight gain, acne, water retention and, finally, labor. McCarthy is undeniably crass but funny, and her candor and self-deprecation are refreshing. Each brief, chatty chapter focuses on a different—and awful—facet of pregnancy, with McCarthy relating personal anecdotes and usually winding down by reassuring women they're not alone. McCarthy's tales are, for the most part, a hoot, though they may offend more uptight readers. For example, in the beginning of McCarthy's pregnancy, she was constipated, so she visited a specialist. In the waiting room, the assistant called her name, and ''everyone... looked up in surprise, and I knew what they were thinking: 'Jenny McCarthy has butt hole problems?' I was so embarrassed, until I realized that they had no right to be smirking: Those assholes were also there because of their own assholes. I felt better already.'' Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. From Booklist McCarthy applies her in-your-face manner and blue humor to the subject of pregnancy and childbirth in this little piece of fun. The former Playboy centerfold and all-around bad girl recounts her journey to motherhood with utter abandon, discussing topics that those other wholesome books tend to treat too gently, such as enemas, pubic hair growth, and sex in the ninth month. What's noble about this book (yes, noble) is that women who find these topics too embarrassing to bring up now have a place to read about them in a frank and open discussion.^B After all, they're as real as morning sickness, and McCarthy treats them with a candor that borders on crude but that is refreshing, and, ultimately, necessary. Not to mention funny. Like a gossipy girlfriend, McCarthy brings you in and makes you laugh; there's a certain comfort in knowing that even a sex symbol gets stretch marks and balloons to 200 pounds during pregnancy. A must-have for any childbirth collection. An aggressive marketing campaign suggests libraries ought to stock up. Mary Frances Wilkens Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved From Publishers Weekly McCarthy, 1994 Playmate of the Year, actress ( Scream 3 ; Baywatch ; etc.) and former host of MTV's Singled Out , gave birth to her first child in 2002. Her pregnancy wasn't pretty鈥攁nd she wants to tell readers all about it. At the outset, she tells them, "If you bought this book, you are already aware of my frankness when it comes to certain things鈥攁natomy and bodily functions among them. If someone gave this book to you as a gift and you've never heard of me, apologies to you!" She goes on to recount the nitty-gritty of pregnancy in all its gory detail, covering morning sickness, hormonal rage, cravings, hemorrhoids, "engorged" breasts, gas, hot flashes, fainting spells, weight gain, acne, water retention and, finally, labor. McCarthy is undeniably crass but funny, and her candor and self-deprecation are refreshing. Each brief, chatty chapter focuses on a different鈥攁nd awful鈥攆acet of pregnancy, with McCarthy relating personal anecdotes and usually winding down by reassuring women they're not alone. McCarthy's tales are, for the most part, a hoot, though they may offend more uptight readers. For example, in the beginning of McCarthy's pregnancy, she was constipated, so she visited a specialist. In the waiting room, the assistant called her name, and "everyone... looked up in surprise, and I knew what they were thinking: 'Jenny McCarthy has butt hole problems?' I was so embarrassed, until I realized that they had no right to be smirking: Those assholes were also there because of their own assholes. I felt better already." Copyright 漏 Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. From Booklist McCarthy applies her in-your-face manner and blue humor to the subject of pregnancy and childbirth in this little piece of fun. The former Playboy centerfold and all-around bad girl recounts her journey to motherhood with utter abandon, discussing topics that those other wholesome books tend to treat too gently, such as enemas, pubic hair growth, and sex in the ninth month. What's noble about this book (yes, noble) is that women who find these topics too embarrassing to bring up now have a place to read about them in a frank and open discussion.^B After all, they're as real as morning sickness, and McCarthy treats them with a candor that borders on crude but that is refreshing, and, ultimately, necessary. Not to mention funny. Like a gossipy girlfriend, McCarthy brings you in and makes you laugh; there's a certain comfort in knowing that even a sex symbol gets stretch marks and balloons to 200 pounds during pregnancy. A must-have for any childbirth collection. An aggressive marketing campaign suggests libraries ought to stock up. Mary Frances Wilkens Copyright 漏 American Library Association. All rights reserved General,Humor,Family & Relationships,Marriage & Family,Topic,Parenting,Pregnancy & Childbirth,Pregnancy,Health & Fitness,Child Rearing So you got knocked up? (getting pregnant) Honey, your sperm really do work! (pregnancy test) Barf-o-rama (morning sickness) Niagara in my pants (vaginal discharge) Psycho chick (hormonal rage) Holy shit, I think I hard-boiled my baby! (taking hot baths) Granny panties (letting go of the G-string) I can either pee on you or you can get the hell out of my way! (frequent pee breaks) Passing stonehenge (constipation) Is it a penis or a vagina? (finding out the sex) Can I have a mustard sandwich with pickles, anchovies, peanut butter, and a little cottage cheese? Oh, and throw a few fish sticks on there! (cravings) Where in the hell can I find a muumuu? (nothing to wear) Freddy Kruger ain't got nothing on me! (dreams) Is that an apple on your rectum or are you just happy to see me? (hemorrhoids) Hi, porn star! (engorged breasts) Ready and squeeze your kegels (an exercise for the vagina) Well, it's not 1972 anymore! (baby boomers explaining how it was in their day) A sewer tank explode, or did you just fart? (gas) Hands off, dude! (strangers touching your belly) I can't see! I'm bleeding! I can't stand it! (weird and painful bits and pieces) Www.ihavetostopbuyingbabyshit.com (on-line baby stores) Is it hot in here or is it just me? it's just me (hot flashes and fainting spells) Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oooooooohhhhhhh! I'll take another one of those, please! (orgasms in pregnancy) The crying game (hormonal blues) So, anyway, like I was saying wait, what was I saying? (wandering mind) Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the prettiest pregnant lady of them all? clearly not you, lady! (face acne and rashes) It's a bird!! it's a plane! no, it's a really swollen pregnant lady! (water retention) The McRib sandwich (back pain) Headaches (headaches duh) That ain't my ass! (cellulite gain) No, not yet! I'm not ready for this yet! (premature labor) Poopin' on the table (the dark side of delivery) The blue twinkies (your swollen vagina) Die, model bitch, die! (hating skinny people Ooooh! I think I felt the baby move or maybe it's just gas (baby kicks) Organizing freak (your nesting instinct) Breathing for dummies (Lamaze) What the fu*k are these? (stretch marks) I just need to lie down for, like, five minutes okay, maybe three months (sleepiness) Pig in the pasture (sex in the ninth month) The moment of truth (labor and delivery) Let me repeat (husband no no's)

Oh, the joys of pregnancy! There's the gassiness, constipation, queasiness, and exhaustion, the forgetfulness, crankiness, and the constant worry. Of course, no woman is spared the discomforts and humiliations of pregnancy, but most are too polite to complain or too embarrassed to talk about them. Not Jenny McCarthy! In the New York Times best-selling Belly Laughs, actress and new mother Jenny McCarthy reveals the naked truth about the tremendous joys, the excruciating pains, and the unseemly disfigurement that go along with pregnancy. Never shy, frequently crude, and always laugh-out-loud funny, McCarthy covers it all in the grittiest of girlfriend detail. From morning sickness and hormonal rage, to hemorrhoids, pregnant sex, and the torture and sweet relief that is delivery, Belly Laughs is must-read comic relief for anyone who is pregnant, who has ever been pregnant, is trying to get pregnant, or, indeed, has ever been born!

The New York Times bestseller--never shy, frequently crude and always funny, Jenny McCarthy gives the lowdown on pregnancy in the grittiest girlfriend detail Revealing the naked truth about the tremendous joys, the excruciating pains, and the inevitable disfigurement that go along with pregnancy, Jenny McCarthy tells you what you can really expect when you're expecting! From morning sickness and hormonal rage, to hemorrhoids, granny panties, pregnant sex, and the torture and sweet relief that is delivery, Belly Laughs is must-read comic relief for anyone who is pregnant, has ever been pregnant, is trying to get pregnant, or, indeed, has ever been born! The author introduces new mothers, and expectant mothers, to all the joys and terrors of childbirth, including gas pains, crankiness, anxiety, and various other humiliations that accompany this over-idealized experience. Though as a warning we were always told that getting pregnant was an easy thing to do, most of you know that trying to get pregnant can be a grind-not always nearly as easy as they told you back in sex ed. McCarthy, 1994 Playmate of the Year, and former MTV host, gave birth to her first child in 2002. Her pregnancy wasn't pretty- and she wants to tell readers all about it Introduces expectant women to the joys, terrors, and humiliations that accompany the over-idealized experience of pregnancy.