Babyproofing your marriage : how to laugh more, argue less, and communicate better as your family grows

Citing the challenges posed by parenthood on otherwise strong marriages, a reference based on the advice of hundreds of families makes recommendations for such topics as the division of labor, sexual frustration, and grandparent management. Warning! New parents are likely to experience:Scorekeeping—An exceedingly complex, often relentless, tit-for-tat war waged by husbands and wives over the division of parenting responsibilities and domestic chores. The Ten O'Clock Shoulder Tap—Considered by many men to be a form of foreplay. A paw on a wife's shoulder is how some men indicate their desire for sex. The Tap is rarely accompanied by a term of endearment or any other verbal form of communication and is seldom well received by the often-sleeping/almost-always-exhausted wife. The frustrated husband, meanwhile, wonders if his wife has pulled a Bait and Switch in the bedroom.Clash of the Grannies—A high stakes "who will have the greatest influence on the grandkids" tournament played by each set of grandparents. Competitive categories include: the Title Championship (who gets to be called "Grandma"), the Battle for Floor and Wall Space, the Battle for Face Time, and Gratuitous Grandparental Gift-Giving. The Babyproofers are three women who wouldn't trade their roles as mothers for anything, and they love their husbands deeply. But after living through it and hearing the stories of hundreds of other couples, they know that with young children in the house, you need to block the stairs with baby gates, put plastic covers over the outlets, AND take the necessary steps to safeguard your marriage. Babyproofing Your Marriage is the warts-and-all truth about how having children can affect your relationship. The authors explore the transition to parenthood in light of their own experiences, with input from their husbands and commentary from men and women across the country. Their evenhanded approach to both sides of the marital equation allows spouses to understand each other in a whole new way. With loads of humor and practical advice, the Babyproofers will guide first-time parents and veterans alike around the rocky shores of the early parenting years. Don't fall prey to common relationship pitfalls: Babyproof Your Marriage! Warning! New parents are likely to ScorekeepingAn exceedingly complex, often relentless, tit-for-tat war waged by husbands and wives over the division of parenting responsibilities and domestic chores. The Ten O'Clock Shoulder TapConsidered by many men to be a form of foreplay. A paw on a wife's shoulder is how some men indicate their desire for sex. The Tap is rarely accompanied by a term of endearment or any other verbal form of communication and is seldom well received by the often-sleeping/almost-always-exhausted wife. The frustrated husband, meanwhile, wonders if his wife has pulled a Bait and Switch in the bedroom. Clash of the GranniesA high stakes "who will have the greatest influence on the grandkids" tournament played by each set of grandparents. Competitive categories the Title Championship (who gets to be called "Grandma"), the Battle for Floor and Wall Space, the Battle for Face Time, and Gratuitous Grandparental Gift-Giving. The Babyproofers are three women who wouldn't trade their roles as mothers for anything, and they love their husbands deeply. But after living through it and hearing the stories of hundreds of other couples, they know that with young children in the house, you need to block the stairs with baby gates, put plastic covers over the outlets, AND take the necessary steps to safeguard your marriage. Babyproofing Your Marriage is the warts-and-all truth about how having children can affect your relationship. The authors explore the transition to parenthood in light of their own experiences, with input from their husbands and commentary from men and women across the country. Their evenhanded approach to both sides of the marital equation allows spouses to understand each other in a whole new way. With loads of humor and practical advice, the Babyproofers will guide first-time parents and veterans alike around the rocky shores of the early parenting years. Don't fall prey to common relationship Babyproof Your Marriage! How Did We Get Here? Parenthood Changes Everything -- Baby...boom! Welcome To The Foxhole -- What's The Score? The Post-baby Battle Of The Sexes -- The Sex Life Of New Parents : Coitus Non-existus -- In-laws And Outlaws : The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly -- Ramping Up And Giving In : More Kids, More Chaos -- Balancing Priorities : Where Do We Go From Here? -- So, Did We Learn Anything? Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'neill, And Julia Stone ; Illustrated By Larry Martin. Includes Bibliographical References (p. [287]-289). The months after the birth of a first child can find a grown man reduced to tears and a sane woman transformed into the role of a bottle-wielding shrew. This guide addresses the early parenting years, using real-life stories from couples who have survived to tell the tale