Apples Should Be Red

Recipe for Thanksgiving Dinner: Start with 62-year old politically incorrect, chain-smoking, hard-cussing curmudgeon. Add 59-year old sexually-repressed know-it-all in pearls. Throw in a beer can-turkey, a battle for horticultural supremacy, and nudist next-door neighbor. Serve on paper plates, garnished with garden gnome. Tastes like happily ever after.