Amateur Hour : Motherhood in Essays and Swear Words

An emotionally honest, arresting, and funny collection of essays about motherhood and adulthood in the vein of Operating Instructions from a rising literary star. "Being a mother is a gift." Where's my receipt? Welcome to essayist Kimberly Harrington's poetic, hysterically funny (and occasionally just hysterical) world of motherhood, womanhood, and humanhood, not necessarily in that order. It's a place of loud parenting, fierce loving, too much ice cream, too much social media, and occasional inner monologues in which light is shed on topics such as Pro/Con: Caving to PTO Bake Sale Pressure ("PRO: Skim the crappiest brownies for myself. CON: They're really crappy.") With accessibility and wit, she captures the emotions around parenthood in artful and earnest ways, highlighting this time in the middle—midlife, the middle years of childhood, how women are stuck in the middle of so much. It's a place of... Welcome To Essayist Kimberly Harrington's Poetic And Funny World Of Motherhood, Womanhood, And Humanhood--not Necessarily In That Order. It's A Place Of Loud Parenting, Fierce Loving, Too Much Social Media, And Occasional Inner Monologues Where Timeless Debates Are Resolved Such As Pro/con: Caving To Pto Bake Sale Pressure (pro: Skim The Crappiest Brownies For Myself. Con: They're Really Crappy.). With Accessibility And Wit, She Captures The Emotions Around Parenthood In Artful And Earnest Ways, Highlighting This Time In The Middle--midlife, The Middle Years Of Childhood, And How Women Are Stuck In The Middle Of So Much. It's A Place Of Elation, Exhaustion, And Time Whipping Past At Warp Speed. Finally, It's A Quiet Space To Consider The Girl You Were, The Mother You Are, And The Woman You Are Always Becoming.--page [4] Of Cover. First. I Don't Want To Be Dying In Order To Tell You These Things -- Jobs. Fuck. This. List. -- Job Description For The Dumbest Job Ever -- The Super Bowl Of Interruptions -- I Am The One Woman Who Has It All -- Undone -- Dear Stay-at-home Moms And Working Moms, You're Both Right -- Time-out. Just What I Wanted, A Whole Twenty-four Hours Of Recognition Once A Year -- If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy: Revised And Expanded -- Vows. Tiny Losses -- If You Love Your Grandparents, Go Visit Them -- Let's Have The Wedding Later -- It's Complicated -- Time-out. Your Cute Wedding Hashtags Twenty Years Later -- Kids, It's Time You Know The Truth--your Mother Is A Real Piece Of Work -- Showdowns. Overshare -- Thank You For Including Me On This Meal Train But Unfortunately I'm A Horrible Person -- Your Participation Trophies Are Bullshit -- September 17, 2010: The Day I Turned The Car Around -- The Ghosts Of Halloweens Past -- Time-out. Radiohead Song Or Accurate Description Of My Parenting? -- Are You Sure There Isn't Something Else I Can Do Before The End Of The School Year? -- Schools. The Walls That Define Us -- Pro/con: Caving To Pto Bake Sale Pressure -- The Punching Season -- Please Don't Get Murdered At School Today -- I Don't Care If You Go To College -- Time-out. What Do Yo Think Of My Son's Senior Picture That Was Shot By Annie Leibovitz? -- Anne-marie Slaughter Is My Safety Word -- Bodies. Who Does That? -- If You Can Touch It -- As Young As We'll Ever Be -- Hot-ass Chicks -- Ashes To Ashes -- Time-out. Fifty-one Things You Should Never Say To A Mother Ever -- Is There A Parenting Expert On This Plane? -- Freedoms. Do You Have Faith In Me? -- Thirteen With Dudes -- Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Should -- Last. -- You Are All The Joy -- When I Die. Kimberly Harrington. “Kimberly Harrington deftly and hilariously uncovers all of the lies and bullshit women are told about motherhood. This book made me laugh, sure, but it also made me feel seen.” — Jennifer Romolini, chief content officer at Shondaland.com and author of Weird in a World That’s Not An emotionally honest, arresting, and funny collection of essays about motherhood and adulthood. “Being a mother is a gift.” Where’s my receipt? Welcome to essayist Kimberly Harrington’s poetic and funny world of motherhood, womanhood, and humanhood, not necessarily in that order. It’s a place of loud parenting, fierce loving, too much social media, and occasional inner monologues where timeless debates are resolved such as Pro/Con: Caving to PTO Bake Sale Pressure (“PRO: Skim the crappiest brownies for myself. CON: They’re really crappy.”) With accessibility and wit, she captures the emotions around parenthood in artful and earnest ways, highlighting this time in the middle—midlife, the middle years of childhood, how women are stuck in the middle of so much. It’s a place of elation, exhaustion, and time whipping past at warp speed. Finally, it’s a quiet space to consider the girl you were, the mother you are, and the woman you are always becoming. "Welcome to essayist Kimberly Harrington's poetic and funny world of motherhood, womanhood, and humanhood, not necessarily in that order. It's a place of loud parenting, fierce loving, too much social media, and occasional inner monologues where timeless debates are resolved such as Pro/Con: Caving to PTO Bake Sale Pressure ("PRO: Skim the crappiest brownies for myself. CON: They're really crappy.") With accessibility and wit, she captures the emotions around parenthood in artful and earnest ways, highlighting this time in the middle--midlife, the middle years of childhood, how women are stuck in the middle of so much. It's a place of elation, exhaustion, and time whipping past at warp speed. Finally, it's a quiet space to consider the girl you were, the mother you are, and the woman you are always becoming." -- Amazon description