All the rage : mothers, fathers, and the myth of equal partnership

Picking up where All Joy and No Fun left off, All the Rage sets out to understand why, in an age of so-called equality, full-time working mothers still carry. The inequity of domestic life is one of the most profound and perplexing conundrums of our time. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data show that one area of gender inequality stubbornly remains: the unequal amount of parental work that falls on women, no matter their class or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work full-time, mothers’ contributions—even those women who earn more than their partners—still outweigh fathers’ when it comes to raising children and maintaining a home. How can this be? How, in a culture that has studied and lauded the benefits of fathers’ being active, present partners in child-rearing—benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves—can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children? Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own case-study as Ground Zero, she moves outward, chronicling the experiences of a diverse cross-section of women raising children with men; visiting new mothers’ groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists. Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the reasons both men and women are culpable. Her findings are startling—and offer a catalyst for true change. Journalist-turned-psychologist Darcy Lockman Offers A Clear-eyed Look At The Most Pernicious Problem Facing Modern Parents--how Progressive Relationships Become Traditional Ones When Children Are Introduced Into The Household. In An Era Of Seemingly Unprecedented Feminist Activism, Enlightenment, And Change, Data Shows That One Area Of Gender Inequality Stubbornly Persists: The Disproportionate Amount Of Parental Work That Falls To Women, No Matter Their Background, Class, Or Professional Status. All The Rage Investigates The Cause Of This Pervasive Inequity To Answer Why, In Households Where Both Parents Work Full-time And Agree That Tasks Should Be Equally Shared, Mothers' Household Management, Mental Labor, And Childcare Contributions Still Outweigh Fathers'. How, In A Culture That Pays Lip Service To Women's Equality And Lauds The Benefits Of Father Involvement--benefits That Extend Far Beyond The Well-being Of The Kids Themselves--can A Commitment To Fairness In Marriage Melt Away Upon The Arrival Of Children? Counting On Male Partners Who Will Share The Burden, Women Today Have Been Left With What Political Scientists Call Unfulfilled, Rising Expectations. Historically These Unmet Expectations Lie At The Heart Of Revolutions, Insurgencies, And Civil Unrest. If So Many Couples Are Living This Way, And So Many Women Are Angered Or Just Exhausted By It, Why Do We Remain So Stuck? Where Is Our Revolution, Our Insurgency, Our Civil Unrest? Darcy Lockman Drills Deep To Find Answers, Exploring How The Feminist Promise Of True Domestic Partnership Almost Never, In Fact, Comes To Pass. Starting With Her Own Marriage As A Ground Zero Case Study, She Moves Outward, Chronicling The Experiences Of A Diverse Cross-section Of Women Raising Children With Men; Visiting New Mothers' Groups And Pioneering Co-parenting Specialists; And Interviewing Experts Across Academic Fields, From Gender Studies Professors And Anthropologists To Neuroscientists And Primatologists. Lockman Identifies Three Tenets That Have Upheld The Cultural Gender Division Of Labor And Peels Back The Ways In Which Both Men And Women Unintentionally Perpetuate Old Norms. If We Can All Agree That Equal Pay For Equal Work Should Be A Given, Can The Same Apply To Unpaid Work? Can Justice Finally Come Home? -- Adapted From Jacket Introduction: The Problem That Has No Name -- On How Life Is -- The Naturalistic Fallacy -- We Are Raised To Be Two Different Kinds Of People -- The Default Parent -- 24-hour Lifelong Shifts Of Unconditional Love -- Successful Male Resistance -- What Are We Trying To Achieve?. Darcy Lockman. Includes Bibliographical References (page [281]-320) And Index. "Why do men do so little at home? Why do women do so much? Why don't our egalitarian values match our lived experiences? Journalist-turned-psychologist Darcy Lockman offers a clear-eyed look at the most pernicious problem facing modern parents--how progressive relationships become traditional ones when children are introduced into the household. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly persists: the disproportionate amount of parental work that falls on women, no matter their background, class, or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work full-time and agree that tasks should be equally shared, mothers' household management, mental labor, and childcare contributions still outweigh fathers'. How, in a culture that pays lip service to women's equality and lauds the benefits of father involvement--benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves--can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children? Counting on male partners who will share the burden, women today have been left with what political scientists call unfulfilled, rising expectations. Historically these disappointed expectations lie at the heart of revolutions, insurgencies, and civil unrest. If so many couples are living this way, and so many women are angered or just exhausted by it, why do we remain so stuck? Where is our revolution, our insurgency, our civil unrest? Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own marriage as a ground-zero case study she moves outward, detailing the experiences of a diverse cross section of women raising children with men; visiting new-mothers' groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists. Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the ways in which both men and women unintentionally perpetuate old norms. If we can all agree that equal pay for equal work should be a given, can the same apply to unpaid work? Can justice finally come home?"--Jacket Why do men do so little at home? Why do women do so much? Why don't our egalitarian values match our lived experiences? Journalist-turned-psychologist Darcy Lockman offers a clear-eyed look at the most pernicious problem facing modern parents—how progressive relationships become traditional ones when children are introduced into the household. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly persists: the disproportionate amount of parental work that falls to women, no matter their background, class, or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work full-time and agree that tasks should be equally shared, mothers' household management, mental labor, and childcare contributions still outweigh fathers'. How, in a culture that pays lip service to women's equality and lauds the benefits of father involvement—benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves—can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children? Counting on male partners who will share the burden, women today have been left with what political scientists call unfulfilled, rising expectations. Historically these unmet expectations lie at the heart of revolutions, insurgencies, and civil unrest. If so many couples are living this way, and so many women are angered or just exhausted by it, why do we remain so stuck? Where is our revolution, our insurgency, our civil unrest? Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own marriage as a ground zero case study, she moves outward, chronicling the experiences of a diverse cross-section of women raising children with men; visiting new mothers' groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists. Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the ways in which both men and women unintentionally perpetuate old norms. If we can all agree that equal pay for equal work should be a given, can the same apply to unpaid work? Can justice finally come home? Annotation This book is open access under a CC BY-NC 2.5 license. This book portrays men's experiences of home alone leave and how it affects their lives and family gender roles in different policy contexts and explores how this unique parental leave design is implemented in these contrasting policy regimes. The book brings together three major theoretical strands: social policy, in particular the literature on comparative leave policy developments; family and gender studies, in particular the analysis of gendered divisions of work and care and recent shifts in parenting and work-family balance; critical studies of men and masculinities, with a specific focus on fathers and fathering in contemporary western societies and life-courses. Drawing on empirical data from in-depth interviews with fathers across eleven countries, the book shows that the experiences and social processes associated with fathers' home alone leave involve a diversity of trends, revealing both innovations and absence of change, including pluralization as well as the constraining influence of policy, gender, and social context. As a theoretical and empirical book it raises important issues on modernization of the life course and the family in contemporary societies. The book will be of particular interest to scholars in comparing western societies and welfare states as well as to scholars seeking to understand changing work-life policies and family life in societies with different social and historical pathways La periodista y psicloga Darcy Lockman ofrece una lcida mirada al problema ms pernicioso al que se enfrentan las madres y padres modernos: las relaciones progresistas se convierten en tradicionales cuando se introducen los nios en el hogar. En una poca de activismo feminista, concienciacin y cambio aparentemente sin precedentes, los datos muestran que persiste obstinadamente un rea de desigualdad de gnero: la desproporcionada cantidad de trabajo parental que recae en las mujeres, independientemente de su origen, clase o estatus profesional. Lockman investiga la causa de esta omnipresente desigualdad para responder por qu, en los hogares en los que ambos progenitores trabajan a jornada completa y estn de acuerdo en que las tareas deben repartirse a partes iguales, las contribuciones de las madres a la gestin del hogar, la carga mental y el cuidado de los hijos siguen superando a las de los padres. Dnde est nuestra revolucin, nuestra insurgencia, nuestra agitacin civil? Lockman expone cmo la promesa feminista de una verdadera pareja de hecho casi nunca se cumple, e identifica tres principios que han sostenido la divisin cultural del trabajo en funcin del gnero, desgranando las formas en que tanto hombres como mujeres perpetan involuntariamente las viejas normas. In a culture that pays lip service to women's equality and lauds the benefits of father involvement, does the commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children? Lockman examines why, in households where both parents work full time and agree that tasks should be equally shared, mothers' household management, mental labor, and childcare contributions still outweigh fathers'. If so many couples are living this way, and so many women are angered or just exhausted by it, why do we remain so stuck? -- adapted from jacket