100 of the worst ideas in history : humanity's thundering brainstorms turned blundering brain farts

What were they thinking? Ever since Adam snacked on the forbidden fruit and was chased naked out of the Garden of Eden, mankind has bitten off a bevy of bad ideas. From skinny-dipping Presidents to toxic tooth fillings to singing pop stars who cant carry a tune, 100 of the Worst Ideas in History is a celebration of humanitys historical—and often hysterical—missteps that have started wars, sunk countries, wrecked companies, scuttled careers, lost millions, and even endangered the Earth. Discover: - How a confused chauffeur helped start World War I - How a Chicago White Sox game helped hasten the demise of disco - The toad that nearly ate Australia - The most dangerous childrens game ever invented - And so much more (of so much less!) Spanning politics, pop culture, fashion, sports, technology, and more, this irreverent and witty book is packed with fun photos and sidebars, tracing how these thundering brainstorms turned into blundering brain farts-and the astonishing impacts our faux pas and foibles still have on us today. Front Cover 1 Title Page 2 Copyright 3 Contents 6 Introduction: What Were They Thinking? 10 Whopping Historical Foul-Ups & Faux Pas 12 The President’s Scandalous Em-Bare-Ass-Ment 13 Why Is Dumbo Wearing Hiking Boots? 15 A Confused Chauffeur Starts a World War 17 The Great Leap Forward Falls on Its Face 19 Pay Me Now or I’ll Splay You Later 21 Tippecanoe and Prez for a Month Too 23 Friday the 13th: The Original Horror Story 25 Preventing 9/11 Could Have Been an Open-and-Shut Case 27 The Assassin’s Gunshot That Backfires Big Time 29 Sure, He Was a Murdering Marauder, but At Least We Get a Day Off 31 By George, That Library Book Is 80,665 Days Late 33 Bones of Contention Pilt on a Lie 35 If You’re Anti-Nuke, This Will Really Hit Your Hot Button 37 The Midnight Walk of Paul Revere 39 Captured Slave Ship Sets the Abolitionist Movement Free 41 Entertainers with Stars in Their Eyes (and Rocks in Their Heads) 44 How to Lip-Sink a Music Career 45 E.T.’s Mission to Mars Aborted 47 G-Men Go Screwy Screwy over “Louie Louie” 49 Remember the Dorks, Luke 51 Don’t Tase Me, Bro—(and Don’t Sing to Me Either) 53 Britney Bares All 55 Look, Dear, Charlie Chaplin Dropped By for a Sleepover 57 Smokey, Not Stirred 59 Capone’s Treasure Turns into Trash TV 61 Dinosaur Helps Bring Actor’s Finances to the Brink of Extinction 63 Pete Does His Best to Avoid the Long and Winding Road to Superstardom 65 Raiders of the Lost Part 67 Ted Danson’s Minstrel Cramp 69 Snuff Daddy’s Greatest Hit 71 Cousin Eddie Checks In, but He Doesn’t Check Out 73 Dr. Dude Little 75 More of the Best of the Worst: Fail to the Chief: Five of the Worst Ideas in Presidential History 77 Inept Inventions, Pitiful Products, and Senseless Services 82 The Butt of a Fat Joke 83 A Killer Idea for Saving Lives 85 The Pinhead Inventor Who Never Got the Point 87 OctoBomb 89 They Bet on the Ponies and Lost 91 This Game Really Sticks Out in Your Mind 93 A Dumb Way to Test How Smart You Are 95 Racially Insensitive Restaurant Serves Up a Side of Controversy 97 New Coke’s Product Launch Goes from Fizzy to Flat 99 The Pubic Hairpiece 101 WD-528,000,000,000 103 Politically Incorrect Politicos 106 Monkey Business Sinks a Presidential Campaign 107 Tape Creates a Sticky Situation for Tricky Dick 109 The Grand High Exalted Hoo-Hah of the United States 111 A Turkey of an Idea Gets Plucked 113 Mail to the Chief 115 The Bridge to Nowhere 117 Make Your Meeting or Else Meet Your Maker 119 For Whom the City of Bell Tolls 121 The President Gives America the Finger 123 Read My Lips: No New Taxes (Until I Change My Mind) 125 Pay No Attention to That Exploding Mountain—Just Vote for Me 127 Pol Pays a Hooker by Check and Really Gets Screwed 129 This Is How I Look—and I’m Not Making It Up 131 More of the Best of the Worst: Ten of the Worst Movie Ideas in History 133 Stupidity at a Major-League Level 140 The Bambino’s Curse on the Beantown Bombers 141 Fourth Down and 70 Million to Go 143 The Heavyweight Chomping-On of the World 145 Out of the Park? Out of the Question 147 Dopey Cyclist Pedals a Pack of Lies 149 A Multimillion-Dollar Career Goes to the Dogs 151 Disco Inferno Singes the White Sox 153 Not a Guy You Want to Neck With 155 War Strategies That Bombed 158 We Qaeda Sorta Attacked the Wrong Country 159 A Single Torpedo Sinks the German Ship of State 161 The Double Agent Who Double-Crossed der Führer 163 Invade Russia in the Winter? Snow Way! 165 A Military Strategy That’s Dead On 167 You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Cry, You Better Read Your Mail, I’m Telling You Why: Sneaky George Is Coming to Town 169 Caesar’s Fiery Battle Tactics Leave Historians Burning Mad 171 America’s Best General Gets a Slap in the Face 173 More of the Best of the Worst: Fashion Frock-Ups: Pick Your Favorite Worst Ideas for Under-, Outer-, Foot-, and Headwear 175 A Healthy Dose of Dumb 178 Hats Off to the World’s Maddest Profession 179 Help Yourself to a Steaming Cup of Influenza 181 A Dental Care Product That Could Rot Your Teeth 183 Lincoln’s Mercury Dealers Nearly Drive the President Crazy 185 The Hippocratic Cure Only Dracula Could Love 187 Ignorance Is Dr. Bliss 189 The Dental Amalgam That Might Have You Feeling Down in the Mouth 191 In the News and Out of Their Minds 194 Balloon Boy Floats a Story Full of Hot Air 195 India’s Roll of the Dice Comes Up an Unlucky “Sevin” 197 Eight Is More Than Enough 199 Y2K Is A-OK 201 The London Big Mac Smackdown 203 Cattlemen’s Beef with Oprah Needs More Cowbell 205 Bernie Made-Off with Their Money 207 Break Glass and Get Thirty Years of Bad Luck 209 More of the Best of the Worst: What the Flock Were They Thinking? Straight, Not-So-Straight, and Crooked Preachers 211 Stinky Thinking from Air, Land, and Sea 216 Test-Drive the Luxurious New Ford Lemon Sucker 217 I Can Stop This Train—and I’m Not Just Yanking Your Chain 219 Oh, the Stupidity! 221 Holy Schettino, How Did That Guy Become a Captain? 223 They Sing the Body Electric, Then Hummer a Different Tune 225 A Horseless Carriage of a Different Color? 227 Blind Ambition Meets Highway Robbery 229 The Worst of the Worst: Hook, Line, and Sinker: The Titanic: One Bad Idea Begets Four Others 233 Mad Scientists and the Monsters They Create 236 Mr. Cane Toad’s Wild Rise 237 These Dudes Must Have Been High When They Made This Weed Deal 239 Oilpocalypse Now 241 Attack of the Frankenfish 243 The Pesticide That Commits Homicide 245 More of the Best of the Worst: Bad Ideas Gone Good 247 Acknowledgments 250 About the Authors 251 Bibliography 252 Index 281 Back Cover 290 From politics to pop culture, fashion, sports, and more, this collection of facts, photos, and "Top 10" lists chronicles history's famously bad ideas. Includes ideas like: - The inventor of Coca-Cola trying to sell the cocainelaced syrup as a health-care product - The official who postponed President McKinley's meeting with the inventor of the bulletproof vest right before he was shot - M&Ms turning down the greatest product placement opportunity in movie history because seeing E.T. eating their candy might "scare" kids